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blueuc75's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally built up the courage to quit my job. I waited an hour to speak to the boss; I finally sat down with her, and she told me I had to be let go because I'm not "reliable enough." The only time I missed work was when I had the stomach flu. I was fired before I could even quit. FML
by Anonymous / 03/22/2013 at 2:13am / United States / Work
Today, I was reading a book in bed when my dad came to check whether or not I was asleep. To avoid any conversation, I pretended that I was. Turns out he was just checking whether he and my mom could have sex while I was fast asleep. I couldn't plug my ears in time. FML
by Anonymous / 01/19/2013 at 9:55pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
by Anon / 01/18/2013 at 12:53am / United States (Texas) / Money
by Anonymous / 01/02/2013 at 2:28am / Canada (Alberta) / Work
Today, my wife and I had a fight, which I thought we resolved. Later, while painting the kitchen, I told her to change into an old shirt she didn't care about. She made a huge show of putting her wedding gown on, veil and all. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 4:33pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Sarah / 01/01/2013 at 10:15am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my dad asked me when I was going to start looking for a job. Jokingly, I told him next year. He got pissed, started to yell, then realized Tuesday is New Year's Day and grounded me for "being a dumbass." FML
by BAMN2187 / 12/30/2012 at 10:51pm / United States / Work
Today, at a restaurant, I happily watched as my boyfriend of three years got down on his knees and proposed to me. Before I could say yes and hug him, a girl flung herself at him, kissed him and shouted, "Yes!" With us still highly confused, she then ran away. FML
by Anonymous / 12/30/2012 at 1:29am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by melas303 / 12/29/2012 at 7:22pm / United States / Love
by awkward. / 12/29/2012 at 10:50am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love
Today, at the hospital I work at, I had to deliver my best friend's baby. I later found out that my ex boyfriend was the father. Normally this wouldn't faze me, but it did because we broke up last month. FML
by Anonymous / 12/29/2012 at 3:25am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, while my girlfriend was playing a game on my phone, an unknown number sent me a nude picture and the words "Miss you, baby." This person's mistake just cost me a black eye, and probably my relationship too. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 12:33pm / United States / Love
Today, after ranting to my boyfriend about how Pandora bracelets are pointless and cliched and that I'd never spend that kind of money on a tiny charm, he gave me my Christmas present. It was a Pandora bracelet. FML
by ashprove611 / 12/27/2012 at 4:47am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I bought a non-refundable $200 plane ticket to Ohio to be with my girlfriend who moved there… Today, my grandmother forced me to help her clean a house, which she knows makes me sick. I wonder… Today, my girlfriend and I woke up in a frisky mood and after a very quick glance around the house…