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blueman3129

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blueman3129

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  • Number of visits : 430
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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blueman3129's page activity

Visits<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 06/20/2014 at 1:19pm<b>JustAnotherDoge</b> - the 06/19/2014 at 11:52pm

blueman3129's FML badges

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of blueman3129's badges

blueman3129's favorite FMLs

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (1884)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20154) - you deserved it (3113)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22595) - you deserved it (6538)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I caught my 15-year-old son trying to roll catnip into a joint and smoke it. FML

#21281464
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25602) - you deserved it (3305)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:48pm - kids - by Bad Dad - United States (Colorado)

Today, I gave birth to my first child. The first thing my husband says? "When can I hit it again, doc?" FML

#21280942
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29689) - you deserved it (3746)

On 10/19/2014 at 7:22am - kids - by how about never? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29760) - you deserved it (3028)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to find "Fuck you, Harry" painted on my car. Harry's my neighbour. FML

#21280293
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32711) - you deserved it (2046)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:20am - misc - by Queensland - Australia

Today, my boyfriend tried to rid me of my hiccups. As he'd screamed at me and I'd pissed my pants, I just burst into tears. FML

#21279967
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26836) - you deserved it (3202)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:12pm - health - by catt - Germany (Berlin)

Today, I rode my new motorcycle to work for the first time. As I accelerated, I felt a sharp pain in my neck. Apparently, poisonous spiders can actually get trapped inside motorbike helmets. Duly noted. FML

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29111) - you deserved it (2909)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, I never really thought that my boyfriend and brother having the same name was too weird. Until I called out his name during climax. FML

#21279374
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32680) - you deserved it (4306)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32186) - you deserved it (3363)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, coming home, I opened up my door to find my drunk boyfriend trying to teach our three baby parakeets to perch on his erect penis. FML

#21278553
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33613) - you deserved it (3672)

On 10/15/2014 at 7:36pm - misc - by facepalm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32068) - you deserved it (4426)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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