Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bluejayfan02

Offline (12 hours ago) | Search for a member

bluejayfan02

2Fucked!

bluejayfan02
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 June 1996 (19 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 961
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bluejayfan02 : -19
-canada
-hockey
-baseball

bluejayfan02's page activity

Visits<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 07/08/2015 at 12:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:42pm<b>s4r</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:37pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 1:54pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 5:30am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:59pm<b>Phylo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 8:43am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 10:44pm<b>Dusty_Cups</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 7:45pm<b>Shipley18</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 4:35pm<b>keely617</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 12:07pm<b>conceptofrt</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 7:53am<b>khoov19</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 12:55am<b>Georgiecan</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 2:53pm<b>brim826</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 10:15pm<b>cutycat136</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 10:10am<b>xwingtwo</b> - the 01/28/2015 at 2:54am

Fucked!<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 4:44am<b>Exaspera</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 7:33am

bluejayfan02's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of bluejayfan02's badges

bluejayfan02's favorite FMLs

Today, I got banned from my favourite online video game for calling a person on my team a "Baked Potato". FML

Today, I told my younger brother that I'm a lesbian. Now he keeps asking me if I want to play rock, paper, vagina. FML

#21390758
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28194) - you deserved it (4622)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm - love - by Sarah (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

#21387442
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28405) - you deserved it (3661)

On 04/04/2015 at 8:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML

#21379710
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32931) - you deserved it (6586)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm - misc - by oooooops (man) - United States

Today, my boss expected me to corroborate her lie to a customer. She changed her story suddenly and I got caught up in the crosshairs. Then she got mad at me for not understanding what just happened. FML

#21345151
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22767) - you deserved it (1969)

On 01/27/2015 at 4:17pm - work - by morning_glory - United States (California)

Today, I learned to never invite my father to a wedding. He'll show up late, complain about the food, piss on a tree, and leave. FML

#21322693
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30928) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/23/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Unknown - United States (Ohio)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41820) - you deserved it (2227)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML

#21308095
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40172) - you deserved it (5170)

On 11/29/2014 at 11:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I overheard my son mutter to himself, "If Hitler could do it to that many people, so could I..." Anyone recommend a good psychiatrist? FML

#21290608
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (2911)

On 11/02/2014 at 3:57pm - kids - by failure (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my daughter mentioned that she didn't need to work because she could convert a dollar to 13 Mexican pesos and convert it back into "13 USD", over and over again. She's 17. FML

#21290410
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35699) - you deserved it (4734)

On 11/02/2014 at 10:23am - kids - by wow - United States (Florida)

Today, my idiot son tried to get a veteran's discount at American Eagle because he's "a fifth prestige" on Call of Duty. FML

#21233179
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42374) - you deserved it (6157)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:31am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59944) - you deserved it (4644)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while at work as a telemarketer, I called a customer on his home phone. Once I was connected, an automated voice said, "To speak with a customer, please press 1." Confused, I pressed one. I then heard loud laughter followed by, "Oh my god! What a dumbass!" before they hung up. FML

#21133762
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39122) - you deserved it (20933)

On 05/07/2014 at 11:57pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I'm a police officer who had the honor of arresting my girlfriend of 3 months for prostitution. All of my coworkers at the station know her and won't stop giving me judging looks. FML

#20869348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49567) - you deserved it (4950)

On 09/05/2013 at 8:29pm - love - by single again - United States (California)

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

#20731352
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69396) - you deserved it (3983)

On 06/17/2013 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by hinting (man) - United States (Michigan)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: