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blueeyes211

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blueeyes211

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  • Number of visits : 46
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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blueeyes211's page activity

Visits<b>its_georgee</b> - the 08/18/2013 at 2:27am

blueeyes211's FML badges

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

blueeyes211's favorite FMLs

Today, I was complaining to my husband about a busty but vapid celebrity, and he replied, "She doesn't need brains, honey, she has boobs. You wouldn't understand." FML

#20557361
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32074) - you deserved it (5894)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:14am - love - by Beestings (woman) - United States

Today, I lost my dog and so I put up 'lost' signs. As I was coming back home I noticed one had been written on. It said: "Found your dog. Keeping it". FML

#20556107
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48273) - you deserved it (3073)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:43am - animals - by Hurrikhan - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, our dog jumped on the bed while my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closed while he continued banging me. FML

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34290) - you deserved it (7139)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

#20510302
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38512) - you deserved it (9262)

On 02/17/2013 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Notaplacetogo (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19935) - you deserved it (5132)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18548) - you deserved it (3412)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML

#20039193
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27355) - you deserved it (2525)

On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, while I was getting intimate with my husband, he moaned someone else's name. He actually tried to explain himself by saying that he'd had a "divine encounter," and while "possessed by the Lord," he'd been told the name of our future daughter. FML

#20003981
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35280) - you deserved it (2563)

On 08/05/2012 at 1:45pm - intimacy - by lils (woman) - United States

Today, I finally met my daughter's boyfriend. He has a face tattoo. FML

#19988981
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28431) - you deserved it (5206)

On 07/28/2012 at 12:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my long-term boyfriend insisted on me going down on him. When I asked what he would do in return, he said "I was thinking McDonald's". FML

#19985281
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24684) - you deserved it (4472)

On 07/26/2012 at 12:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend of several years, and father of our one-year-old child, finally proposed. He was making idle conversation from twenty feet away and casually said, "By the way, you wanna get hitched?" This is as romantic as my life will ever get. Yay. FML

#19949789
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (8590)

On 07/17/2012 at 12:20pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46663) - you deserved it (3234)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I wore a fake wedding ring on my left hand when buying a pregnancy test so the cashier at Walmart wouldn't think I'm a slut. FML

#15738282
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20233) - you deserved it (67212)

On 04/11/2011 at 9:16am - intimacy - by CheeseyPotatoes (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, the three-year-old I was babysitting asked me where my boyfriend was. I told her he was at his house. I'm twenty and single. I lied to a three year old to make myself look less pathetic. FML

#2136862
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42504) - you deserved it (12426)

On 05/21/2009 at 2:21am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)



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