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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 04/22/2015 at 10:14am / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, I started getting really bad chest pains at work. I googled it and the internet convinced me I was having a heart attack. Scared for my life, I started to dial for an ambulance when I let out the biggest fart you could ever imagine. Turns out it was trapped gas. FML
by Not dying. / 04/21/2015 at 3:55am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Health
by queenbitch / 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, my boyfriend let out a horrible fart in the middle of sex. Even though it was clearly his, he gave me disgusted look, called me a dirty bitch, then kept going. Let's just say I didn't finish. FML
by Anonymous / 04/19/2015 at 10:04am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I took my 5-year-old daughter to the play place at McDonalds but I had to keep her busy, instead of letting her play. A mom was teaching her 3-year-old daughter how to pole dance, using the play place's poles. FML
by Pandistoteles / 04/14/2015 at 5:17pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 9:56pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was asked to prom by the same guy who "accidentally" cut off a chunk of my hair in class and with whom I haven't had a conversation in my life. When I politely declined he said, "You'll regret this". FML
by scared4myhair / 04/11/2015 at 9:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML
by Anonymous / 04/11/2015 at 4:55pm / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
by jamisbetter / 04/11/2015 at 8:34am / United Kingdom / Health
by Sarah / 04/09/2015 at 4:24pm / United States (Minnesota) / Love
by burnswhenipee / 04/07/2015 at 8:47pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by therewasnocurtain / 04/06/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (Idaho) / Intimacy
Today, I took my class to swimming lessons at the local public pool. One student came out and proudly told me that she'd pooed in the shower, but it was OK because she'd then picked it up and flushed it down the toilet. FML
by Teach / 03/31/2015 at 3:40am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Kids
Today, I was working at a donation center. I was having a really rough day, so my fiancée dropped me off some cookies. At the end of my shift, the manager told me I couldn't take them home because they were donated and therefore they were "company property." FML
by bingalingading / 03/30/2015 at 4:46pm / United States (Michigan) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/29/2015 at 11:17am / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
- Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, straight after we had sex, my boyfriend went to the bathroom. He stayed in there for a long…