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bls27

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bls27
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  • Number of visits : 196
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bls27's favorite FMLs

Today, I was called into my son's school because he had got into a fist-fight with another pupil and I had to take him home. He clammed up about the reason behind the fight, until I finally managed to coax it out of him: the other kid is in "Hufflepuff" and he's in "Ravenclaw." FML

#20070089
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22064) - you deserved it (3681)

On 09/13/2012 at 10:31am - kids - by PissOffPottermore (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20677) - you deserved it (4406)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML

#20068526
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37699) - you deserved it (2942)

On 09/12/2012 at 3:00am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was out shopping, when I noticed a teenage girl with a double stroller picking up a pack of condoms. I couldn't help but mutter that it was a little late for those. A guy who must have been her boyfriend then stormed over and beat the shit out of me. FML

#20066250
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16038) - you deserved it (65335)

On 09/10/2012 at 1:52pm - intimacy - by killmenow - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked downstairs with a couple of bags full of stuff, in preparation for a sleepover at my friend's house. My nine-year-old cousin looked at me and said, "Where're you going? Fat camp?" FML

#20064659
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15052) - you deserved it (2970)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:02pm - health - by Char (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23458) - you deserved it (5823)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, an unknown number left me a lengthy voicemail of what sounds like two people having sex. This is the closest I've gotten to real-life sex in 2 years. I listened to it three times. FML

#20058325
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22684) - you deserved it (8013)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:44am - intimacy - by anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, at a supermarket entrance, a seemingly drunk old lady said, "Sir?" as I passed by. I just ignored her and walked in. When I walked out with my groceries fifteen minutes later, several people were standing around her, calling for an ambulance. She'd passed out on the ground. FML

#20057390
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6745) - you deserved it (45481)

On 09/04/2012 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I was feeling depressed and got very, very drunk. This evening, I was feeling equally desperate, and ended up having to get my special dildo removed from my asshole at the hospital. FML

#20051425
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10292) - you deserved it (32079)

On 08/31/2012 at 8:23pm - intimacy - by pride? what's that? :( (woman) - Belgium (Vlaams-Brabant)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. I thought I'd be spontanous and spice things up, and gave her a spank across the butt. She started crying. FML

#20051213
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23493) - you deserved it (14471)

On 08/31/2012 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by jon (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to force myself to take a dump at school, even though I have severe restroom anxiety and shyness. I had finally relaxed enough to go when the tornado drills went off mid-dump, and 46 students and teachers packed into the bathroom with me. FML

#20048959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30080) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/30/2012 at 1:55am - misc - by DamnTornadoAlley - United States (Texas)

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (5417)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I turned on the TV just in time to see my picture on the news. I have no idea what they said about me. FML

#20043967
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27574) - you deserved it (2318)

On 08/27/2012 at 2:45am - misc - by masterman - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to finally accept that my husband is too large for me. Normally, it'd be a bragging point, except my private parts can't handle it. After several infections brought on after vaginal tearing, I'm having to choose between being in perpetual pain, or giving up my sex life. FML

#20028986
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39944) - you deserved it (2696)

On 08/18/2012 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by sal (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, thanks to a new form of birth control, I've now been having my period non-stop for six weeks. FML

#20022564
343 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33547) - you deserved it (3707)

On 08/15/2012 at 1:08pm - health - by theflow (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)



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