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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
Keen reader – Level: master ninja
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
bls27's favorite FMLs
by EnglandRocks / 03/12/2015 at 2:03pm / Switzerland (Bern) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/12/2015 at 9:43am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got in line for my flight to visit a friend in England. My mom was there to see me off, and decided to shout "No sex!" while waving, in front of at least a hundred people who will very likely be sharing the transatlantic flight with me. FML
by Anonymous / 03/11/2015 at 11:26am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML
by MyPrecious... / 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my son was at a birthday party. After eating a plate of cake, he loudly asked the birthday boy's mum if he could have sloppy seconds. I don't know where he heard that phrase, but the other kids' parents shot me very dirty looks. FML
by Anonymous / 03/07/2015 at 11:59am / Australia (Western Australia) / Kids
Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML
by UncleMonkey / 03/06/2015 at 1:18am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by lulinator / 03/05/2015 at 11:30am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous
by notdrivinganytimesoon / 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/28/2015 at 9:16am / Denmark (Nordjylland) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was about to have sex with my husband, I said I wanted to "spice things up." Apparently, our ideas weren't the same. He yanked my nipples as hard as he could and said, "Yeah, you like that?" FML
by milked / 02/27/2015 at 12:28am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML
by LocallyBrewed / 02/26/2015 at 11:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mags89 / 02/25/2015 at 9:18am / United States / Work
Today, I came home from work to find that my girlfriend had sold all of my N64 and Atari games and both the consoles and bought me a PS4 with the money. While I was standing there in shock, she kissed me on the cheek and said, "I know, I'm the greatest." FML
by Anonymous / 02/22/2015 at 3:41pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by heymacie / 02/19/2015 at 12:45am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy