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bls27's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
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bls27's favorite FMLs
Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML
by W T F / 06/03/2015 at 3:22am / United States (Alabama) / Intimacy
by Zufallian / 06/02/2015 at 8:55pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, at my daughter's wedding celebration, I was doing a Michael Jackson act with a few buddies. It went well until I did the crotch-grab. I yanked my balls too hard and fell to the floor, writhing in agony in front of nearly 70 guests. FML
by not a kiddy fiddler really / 05/29/2015 at 4:15pm / United States (California) / Health
by stupid / 05/26/2015 at 2:54am / United States (California) / Money
Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 2:17pm / United Kingdom (Havering) / Kids
Today, we were discussing evolution at the super-religious school I'm forced to attend. I mentioned homo sapiens, and my teacher mockingly replied, "You actually believe in homo sapiens? Hahahah!" The whole class started laughing. No, not at the teacher; at me. FML
by homo fuckofftus / 05/22/2015 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/22/2015 at 11:17am / United States / Health
by zzarzzur / 05/22/2015 at 2:55am / United States (California) / Intimacy
by Swabidizop / 05/18/2015 at 4:40pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML
by PISSED OFF / 05/17/2015 at 9:09am / Australia / Miscellaneous
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by nazirah4shizzle / 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML
by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work
by gassygirlfriend / 05/10/2015 at 4:40am / United States (Idaho) / Love
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…