Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blooddeal

Search for a member

blooddeal

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 July 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 482
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blooddeal : Hey Hey Whiskey Jack
Meet me Down by the Railroad Track
With A Bottle in my Hand
Im Gonna Be A Drinkin Man

blooddeal's page activity

Visits<b>laney_bug_</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 4:18pm<b>EverestMelting</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 6:40am<b>Rababco</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 2:22am<b>starryeyed_0811</b> - the 08/24/2013 at 9:38am<b>sbeth2002</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 8:28am<b>Tika876</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:40am<b>gman123999</b> - the 03/29/2013 at 6:35pm<b>callie06</b> - the 03/27/2013 at 5:05am<b>dancinwookie</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 9:41pm<b>Ameily</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:25pm<b>psychplease</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 7:30am<b>gweny812</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 3:54am<b>capper44</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 2:15am<b>powermapler</b> - the 03/25/2013 at 1:20am<b>samiel1989</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 11:24pm<b>MiaR</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 9:18pm<b>Pwobbles</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 8:57pm<b>TacoBelle</b> - the 03/24/2013 at 8:18pm

blooddeal's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of blooddeal's badges

blooddeal's favorite FMLs

Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML

#341783
535 comments

I agree, your life sucks (502899) - you deserved it (35041)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to tell my mom about my choice to wait to have sex until after marriage. Coming from a very christian family I thought she would be proud. Instead she laughed and said, "is that your excuse for not being able to get laid?" and walked out of the room. FML

#283028
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (264039) - you deserved it (48307)

On 03/12/2009 at 1:53pm - intimacy - by sucks - United States

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (237402) - you deserved it (14785)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML

#217348
416 comments

I agree, your life sucks (478706) - you deserved it (45942)

On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he beat you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

#209116
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (233151) - you deserved it (31027)

On 03/04/2009 at 6:07pm - intimacy - by Girl123999 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée broke up with me. Via a myspace message. While we were in the same apartment. FML

#163689
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (333286) - you deserved it (28788)

On 02/28/2009 at 7:22pm - love - by loser (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML

#159600
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (1157348) - you deserved it (115937)

On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

#142795
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (254927) - you deserved it (59886)

On 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Picaresque (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

#97632
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (263496) - you deserved it (59697)

On 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm - love - by GD (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I saw an elderly man fall in a crosswalk, so I jumped off my bike to help. As I helped him across, the light turned green. I then watched across a 6 lane street as someone stole my bike. FML

#86179
745 comments

I agree, your life sucks (776715) - you deserved it (82777)

On 02/20/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by Mick (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML

#56665
505 comments

I agree, your life sucks (234745) - you deserved it (81904)

On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: