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  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 596
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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blondeninja1's page activity

Visits<b>Steve97</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 9:05pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 09/12/2015 at 10:10am<b>ARetardedSeal</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 5:05pm<b>Lct1196</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:56am<b>tiger820</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 11:48am<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 09/05/2015 at 11:58am<b>trey600rr</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 2:34pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 08/31/2015 at 8:53am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 2:56pm<b>DerBuchmacher</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 10:14am<b>Jowisee</b> - the 08/30/2015 at 8:57am<b>alexandra5</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:29pm<b>fleckney26</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 10:44am<b>Logicscmogic</b> - the 05/12/2015 at 12:38am<b>rob02</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 7:00am<b>morondon000</b> - the 01/08/2015 at 11:59pm<b>fortune789</b> - the 01/04/2015 at 7:50pm<b>Mr_snuggels</b> - the 01/03/2015 at 6:20pm

Fucked!<b>trey600rr</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:34pm<b>Steve97</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 5:12pm

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blondeninja1's favorite FMLs

Today, I met up with an old friend of mine who acts in a TV show. I hadn't seen him in a long time, but I'd been watching episodes of the show almost daily, so when he showed up I could only see him as his TV character and not as my friend. I ended up calling him by his character's name. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42768) - you deserved it (14014)

On 04/16/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Confused (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that the only female who shows any sexual interest in me at all is my 70-year-old neighbor. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42979) - you deserved it (4473)

On 04/15/2014 at 5:55pm - love - by gerontofuck (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21118) - you deserved it (46584)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was at Walmart and had to use the bathroom. I sat down and farted real loud. I didn't realize someone was in there with me until I heard a voice say, "Dude, that was a good one." It was a man's voice. I then realized I was in the men's restroom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (12864)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:39pm - misc - by dani (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister brought me coffee to my office. It was really nice so I made a status about it on Facebook. My boyfriend texted me soon after, freaking out because I never put anything on Facebook about him and how great he is. I'm basically dating a 14-year-old girl. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42358) - you deserved it (6913)

On 03/11/2014 at 6:27pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and noticed a girl that I played netball with. I ran across the road to meet her and she ran across the car park to meet me. We hugged and looked at each other slowly backing away as we both realised that we didn't know each other. FML


I agree, your life sucks (49484) - you deserved it (7149)

On 03/10/2014 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I came home from a night out with the lads. My girlfriend refused to make love to me, saying my sperm were drunk and would raise hell in her uterus. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48436) - you deserved it (15714) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/09/2014 at 10:39pm - intimacy - by vegas-81 - France

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML


I agree, your life sucks (41802) - you deserved it (7977)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I were quite drunk while we were fooling around on the couch, when I decided I wanted to lose my virginity to her. I was two thrusts in when she burst out laughing. Looking down, I realized I was between her cheeks and the couch cushion. I lost my virginity to her couch. FML


I agree, your life sucks (57408) - you deserved it (20329)

On 02/07/2014 at 9:18am - intimacy - by Unknown - United States (Iowa)

Today, my class was interrupted by flowers, balloons and chocolates. Then he sang to me a song he wrote himself. This was all for our one-year anniversary. It probably would have been the best day of my life... if I knew who he was. FML


I agree, your life sucks (48321) - you deserved it (3773)

On 12/18/2013 at 4:20pm - love - by romance sucks. (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML


I agree, your life sucks (46949) - you deserved it (3580)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, I was in my room playing with my pet. I told my snake, "Who needs friends when I have you?" Through the wall I heard my neighbors say, "You do." I've never met my neighbors. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42324) - you deserved it (8467)

On 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm - misc - by Where is the faith in Humanity - United States (Washington)

Today, I decided to try LSD with a few friends in a safe environment. As an artist, I had planned to spend my trip doing psychedelic paintings and had all my supplies set up. Apparently I spent most of my time in fetal position muttering about the "evil easel" and never even touched my canvas. FML


Today, I got a message from my brother on Facebook that read, "They're watching you." This wouldn't have been such a big deal if he hadn't been dead for two years. FML


I agree, your life sucks (81075) - you deserved it (4020)

On 07/10/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Wtf (woman) - United States (Ohio)

C comme Line's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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  • Hi gang! It’s a day of national pride over near the FML offices. There's a time for everything, and even if the desire to piss about to release the tension is huge, we mustn’t forget that we can…

Friday 27 November 2015

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