About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)
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blink_kid's favorite FMLs
Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML
by justlittleoldme / 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
by madmomma / 07/25/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Kids
Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML
by Uncircumcised Penis / 07/24/2012 at 5:51am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML
by Anonymous / 07/23/2012 at 11:41am / United States (North Carolina) / Work
by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML
by Bontempi / 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm / France / Miscellaneous
by trisha / 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/15/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/14/2012 at 10:43am / Japan (Tokyo) / Health
Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML
by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/13/2012 at 2:47am / United States (Texas) / Love
by hot coffee / 07/12/2012 at 11:17am / United Kingdom (Surrey) / Miscellaneous
by Sherry / 07/11/2012 at 9:29am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 2Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 3Today, I'm still reeling over the unexpected loss of my co-worker. I also received a notification…