Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 09/30/2015 at 1:06am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6437
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:02am<b>baka4815</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:34am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:48am<b>splash69</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:14am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 8:40am<b>0void0</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:29am<b>corocoro</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:30am<b>VHNox</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:18pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:49pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 2:11pm<b>182yellowgreen41</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 10:26am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:15am<b>aMEWzed</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 12:08pm

blink_kid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blink_kid's badges

blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, my husband ran a nice warm bubble bath with extra bubbles. I undressed and slid down into the tub only to have the most ungodly pain go up my backside. Turns out he knocked his razor into the water when he added the bubbles. I now have two butt cracks. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30727) - you deserved it (1799)

On 11/27/2012 at 9:32am - misc - by Cracky - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took a pregnancy test. When I saw that the result was positive, I started crying and showed my mom. She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test. FML


I agree, your life sucks (9600) - you deserved it (35469)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)

Today, I told my boss that I quit, and handed in my two week's notice. A couple of hours later, I found my letter of resignation had been photocopied and copies hung all around the office with "Best day ever" written on the bottom. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23627) - you deserved it (4993)

On 11/24/2012 at 6:54am - work - by sad face - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called off my engagement, after finding out my fiancé is cheating on me. I recently started a new job, and in anticipation of getting married, I asked that my username include his surname. They can't be changed, so now I get to log in every day under that sorry bastard's surname. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27496) - you deserved it (8721)

On 11/20/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by notAMrs (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I realized I'd put on my shirt on inside out, so I went to the bathroom stalls to fix it. As I was taking it off, I accidentally dropped it in the toilet. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30248) - you deserved it (5724)

On 11/19/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to see a movie with three of my friends, and I was sharing popcorn with one of them. Halfway through the movie, my friend asked me why I wasn't eating our popcorn. I then realised I'd been taking popcorn from the man sitting next to me. FML


I agree, your life sucks (29292) - you deserved it (8398)

On 11/12/2012 at 12:27pm - misc - by mm (woman) - United Kingdom (Warrington)

Today, I was told that my insurance will no longer cover my birth control as it's deemed "unnecessary" for a man, which, according to them, I've been since August. I'm definitely still a woman. FML

Today, while studying liver pathology and highlighting important lines in my textbook, I realized that I could count the number of words I hadn't highlighted on one hand, over the last six pages. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18315) - you deserved it (8407)

On 11/01/2012 at 5:18pm - misc - by ThisisMedSchool - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34390) - you deserved it (3729)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work as an EMT, I was telling a panicked patient that I would be taking her vital signs. I inadvertently said that I would be taking her vital organs. FML


I agree, your life sucks (21329) - you deserved it (4003)

On 10/28/2012 at 11:10pm - work - by Medic - United States (Washington)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML


I agree, your life sucks (22654) - you deserved it (1444)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents gave me a sock and card for my eighteenth birthday. The card said, "Now that Dobby is free, get out." FML


I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (3637)

On 10/15/2012 at 9:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my brother sticking his erect penis through a donut. I doubt I'll ever be able to unsee this. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38080) - you deserved it (3148)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (5173)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • G.E. Gallas's illustrated FML
  • Hardcore will never die, but you will. We’re back with some rock n roll, or dare I say it, some punk rock. Don't run away, it's not that terrible stuff that emo kids listen to while slashing their…

Friday 2 October 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: