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blink_kid

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blink_kid
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1170
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's last visitors

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Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, at work in a nursing home, I had to kill imaginary dogs in the lunch room, because they were evil and trying to eat everyone. This started with just one person seeing them, to all 30 of them screaming and freaking out. I spent 45 minutes killing imaginary dogs. FML

#19983789
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20470) - you deserved it (1384)

On 07/25/2012 at 5:05pm - work - by justlittleoldme - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was in line at the pharmacy when the man in front of me asked if I wanted to see a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. Before I had time to answer, he showed me a picture of a turd that looked like an uncircumcised penis. FML

#19981127
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19558) - you deserved it (1361)

On 07/24/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by Uncircumcised Penis - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, while bussing at my restaurant job, I felt a cold, wet animal slither down my leg. I started shrieking loudly and dancing dementedly to get it off, and everyone in the restaurant turned to stare. Then I realized there was a hole in my pocket and some quarters had slid out down my leg. FML

#19979543
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14196) - you deserved it (5007)

On 07/23/2012 at 11:41am - work - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my neighbor called me on vacation to tell me that she let my mother into my house to feed my fish. I don't have fish, and my mother passed away 3 years ago. FML

#19978365
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (1786)

On 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm - misc - by My_Name_Is_Zach -

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6627) - you deserved it (44649)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8844) - you deserved it (31190)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, my husband and I agreed that he would name our first born and I would name our second. He's dead-set on naming our child "Raindropp" no matter whether it's a boy or girl. FML

#19946274
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19019) - you deserved it (5161)

On 07/16/2012 at 4:57pm - kids - by trisha (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML

#19939596
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26386) - you deserved it (27691)

On 07/15/2012 at 1:34am - intimacy - by oops - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22369) - you deserved it (3496)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I managed to bruise my nipple by closing an umbrella on it. The stupidity of the whole thing hurts almost as much as the injury. FML

#19936728
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13556) - you deserved it (3155)

On 07/14/2012 at 10:43am - health - by Anonymous - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I'm still freshly circumcised. My penis is still very sensitive, and I can't squat to grab stuff off the floor because of the pressure against my jeans. Kicking the objects up into my hands was working well, that is until I spilled a pack of 300 toothpicks all over the floor. FML

#19933924
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20734) - you deserved it (5888)

On 07/13/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my fiancé's grandmother kept trying to introduce him to this "simply absolutely amazing girl," who she thought "would be just the perfect date" for him. At our engagement party. FML

#19931500
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21315) - you deserved it (1127)

On 07/13/2012 at 2:47am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered I'd left my coffee on top of my car when it fell through the sun roof whilst I was driving, showering me. FML

#19927767
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9494) - you deserved it (15299)

On 07/12/2012 at 11:17am - misc - by hot coffee - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, my brother had a party with over 60 people in my basement. It turns out that five different couples had sex under the same comforter. The comforter was mine. FML

#19923012
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23561) - you deserved it (1872)

On 07/11/2012 at 9:29am - intimacy - by Sherry - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my boyfriend treated me to a surprise romantic dinner, and got me a huge balloon bouquet, a dozen roses, a beautiful card for my birthday. Too bad it's his ex's birthday and not mine. FML

#19921886
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26545) - you deserved it (1579)

On 07/11/2012 at 1:09am - love - by forgottenbday (woman) - United States (California)



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