blink_kid

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Offline (the 12/02/2015 at 1:02am)

blink_kid

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7583
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's page activity

Visits<b>facelick</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:02am<b>baka4815</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 7:34am<b>kelseysking</b> - the 03/26/2015 at 11:57am<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:48am<b>splash69</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:14am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 8:40am<b>0void0</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:29am<b>corocoro</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:30am<b>VHNox</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:18pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:49pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 2:11pm<b>182yellowgreen41</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 10:26am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:15am<b>aMEWzed</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 12:08pm

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blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I learned that toddlers cannot fully digest raisins. I learned this first-hand when my 15-month-old began pooping them whole. In the bathtub. FML

by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids

Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML

by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work

Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML

by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health

Today, I realized something: when other people are drunk, they dance around and make out with people. When I'm drunk, I apparently think it's a great idea to chew on electrical cords. FML

by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat had the greatest idea ever: hide inside our Christmas tree and attack anyone who walks past. It would have come as extremely funny to me if I hadn't been her first victim. FML

by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals

Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML

by Aaron / 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health

Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML

by Anonymous / 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm / United States / Love

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML

by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML

by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health

Today, I was working the dart game at my local amusement park when a couple paid to play. They were highly intoxicated, and they thought the object of the game was to hit me with the darts. FML

by hawksbc / 11/28/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.