About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)
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blink_kid's favorite FMLs
Today, while moving into my new place, I saw my new, elderly neighbor sitting on her porch. I cheerfully greeted her with, "Hello, how are you?" She simply rocked slowly in her chair and replied, "Just waiting to die." She was the most cheerful person I met all day. FML
by Kallian / 01/16/2013 at 6:22pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by PeeFlavouredFloss / 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
by anon / 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
by VampObsessed / 01/05/2013 at 12:30am / United States (Texas) / Love
by Raela / 01/04/2013 at 11:59am / United States (New Jersey) / Kids
Today, I was cleaning one of my disabled clients because he pooped himself, so I started to undress him for a shower. I took his dirty diaper off and set it on his bed, then I bent over to take off his socks at which point he put the diaper on my head like a hat. FML
by habassistant / 01/02/2013 at 10:49am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, I went to a concert with my girlfriend. Some guy grabbed her ass, and I tried to fight him. I ended up with a concussion and a messed up jaw. Her? Oh, she beat the shit out of him while I was unconscious. FML
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 5:30am / United States (Kansas) / Health
by almostkilledmyself / 12/29/2012 at 2:30am / Canada (Manitoba) / Miscellaneous
by DarkDisaster / 12/27/2012 at 5:16am / United States / Animals
Today, I decided to talk to a girl at the gym I had seen there a lot. I walked up to her at the station she was at and asked her out to dinner sometime. I didn't realize she had been wearing headphones. She took them off and asked if I was waiting on the station. My courage left. I said yes. FML
by Aaron / 12/09/2012 at 6:34pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
Today, I was out clubbing. My girlfriend went to get us drinks, so I danced alone while I waited. Some girl with hideous meth mouth, who was clearly tripping balls, started harassing and groping me and got all three of us kicked out when my girlfriend returned and beat the hell out of her. FML
by Anonymous / 12/07/2012 at 4:28pm / United States / Love
by mdg / 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work
Today, I was slapped across the face by a girl in the waiting room at the dentist's office. She thought I was taking a picture of her breasts with my phone. I was smiling while reading other people's FMLs. FML
by karmamaybe / 12/03/2012 at 3:35pm / United States (South Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by WTFFAIL / 12/03/2012 at 12:06am / Canada (Quebec) / Health
by hawksbc / 11/28/2012 at 10:14am / United States (Iowa) / Work
- Today, I was walking out of my girlfriend's house with her when I saw her thong drying on the rack.… Today, I waked in on my boyfriend and his best friend playing "Dick Wars" while wearing glow in the… Today, I was released from jail. I had helped a three year old girl get up after falling on a wet…
- Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, I travelled in a shared taxi on the winding roads of the Peruvian Andes. The guy next to me… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a…