Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blink_kid

Search for a member

blink_kid
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2135
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's last visitors

splash69turtles4lifeChloeLentin0void0Welshitecorocoromnskidoomacorncobjarrettd182yellowgreen41Covenant74

blink_kid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blink_kid's badges

blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, my very handsome, fit, Russian boyfriend tried to make me feel better about being a little overweight by telling me, "It's okay, you're American, everyone expects you to be fat." FML

#10696817
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30595) - you deserved it (13834)

On 05/22/2010 at 7:24pm - love - by ChubbyAmerican (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked into a subway car which was empty except for this sleeping hobo. Three stops later, the guy wakes up and starts peeing in the corner. I ignore it thinking he'll go back to sleep. Silly me, I didn't realize that he would start running towards me, still peeing. FML

#8938594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24916) - you deserved it (2116)

On 03/09/2010 at 1:31am - misc - by CreepedOut (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

#8456724
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26622) - you deserved it (3366)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:21pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

#8158295
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28771) - you deserved it (2159)

On 02/12/2010 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was carrying a hot cup of noodles. I sneezed and accidentally stabbed myself in the forehead with a fork. FML

#8130658
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18838) - you deserved it (4335)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:35pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was about to take a crap when the smoke alarm went off. I ran out of the bathroom and tried to run downstairs. I tripped and shit on myself. The alarm had gone off cause my kid put my wallet in the toaster. FML

#8051668
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32701) - you deserved it (4284)

On 02/09/2010 at 1:20pm - kids - by justme - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

#7682210
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31670) - you deserved it (4035)

On 01/29/2010 at 7:02pm - misc - by soonaked (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the toilet at my apartment still hasn't been fixed. I have to straddle the bathtub for number 1's and go to Walmart for 2's. FML

#7566820
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (2546)

On 01/25/2010 at 10:27am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my pet hedgehog thought it would be funny to roll around in the kitty litter. It was like washing a poopy cactus. FML

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41605) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

#7177053
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26261) - you deserved it (5786)

On 01/06/2010 at 3:41am - animals - by motheroftwo (woman) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

#7161504
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12767) - you deserved it (27944)

On 01/05/2010 at 9:06am - love - by PJ (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35525) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: