Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blink_kid

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

blink_kid

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3304
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's page activity

Visits<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>splash69</b> - the 04/15/2014 at 1:12am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 8:40am<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:40am<b>0void0</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:29am<b>corocoro</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:30am<b>VHNox</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:18pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:49pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 2:11pm<b>182yellowgreen41</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 10:26am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:15am<b>aMEWzed</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 12:08pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:34am<b>jeimyxox</b> - the 03/15/2013 at 11:29pm<b>thisguy22</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:58am<b>sirpantselot</b> - the 03/13/2013 at 1:12am

blink_kid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blink_kid's badges

blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9390) - you deserved it (32544)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (7756)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
360 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44390) - you deserved it (10287)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33514) - you deserved it (3213)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40559) - you deserved it (5587)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I picked up on a telemarketer and started speaking in Portuguese. It turns out that this particular telemarketer spoke it as well. Every time I hung up, he called back. Telemarketers get really excited when they find out someone else speaks their language. FML

#15853054
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30398) - you deserved it (9646)

On 04/19/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, sun was shining and I felt confident enough to go sunbathing at the beach. In only my bikini and towel, I laid out to get some sun. A while later, a little girl came up to me and said, "Aren't you embarrassed that you're so huge?" FML

#15621262
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37897) - you deserved it (10088)

On 04/03/2011 at 1:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while serving drinks at work to a group of people getting tipsy on wine, I joked about it being obvious who the designated driver was to the only gentleman who'd been religiously sticking to coke all night. He coldly informed me that he was a recovering alcoholic. FML

#15403907
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26509) - you deserved it (13961)

On 03/20/2011 at 7:29pm - work - by AwkwardWaitress (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, the bus came to pick up my daughter to take her to kindergarten. When it honked, I opened the door for her to let her run out to it. Halfway there she tripped and started crying. I couldn't run out because I was still in my underwear. Now her bus thinks I'm the worst mom ever. FML

#15313960
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17321) - you deserved it (38635)

On 03/14/2011 at 10:25pm - kids - by mommylovesu (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

Today, my mom and I tried out Just Dance 2 on the Wii. When we both threw out our hands at the same time, my mom's Wii remote hit my hand and ripped my finger nail. As I stared at the bloody, half hanging off nail, my mom muttered, "You should have stayed in your dance space." FML

#14852761
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30219) - you deserved it (8035)

On 02/05/2011 at 1:41pm - health - by Winchesterlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was on a plane. When my flight attendant brought me my drink, it had a lid and a straw. He told me, very seriously, "not to spill." No one else got a lid. I'm 18, and apparently I look spill-prone. FML

#14604912
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22324) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/16/2011 at 8:37pm - misc - by thisisme (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I rented a copy How To Train Your Dragon for my young son to watch. I put the DVD in, hit play without paying attention, and went off to make lunch. A few minutes later, my son ran into the kitchen screaming. Apparently, there was a mix up at the rental store and I got a copy of Saw IV. FML

#14337359
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38537) - you deserved it (10402)

On 12/25/2010 at 6:21pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell over on the bus. X-Rays revealed not only that I have been growing extra bones in my foot, but that when I fell, I crushed all of them. Doctors don't know how to fix bones that aren't supposed to be there, so they're just going to cut them out. Two days before Christmas. FML

#14257367
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34270) - you deserved it (2330)

On 12/19/2010 at 4:17am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (112845) - you deserved it (15251)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: