Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blink_kid

Offline (the 11/23/2014 at 2:17am) | Search for a member

blink_kid

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 3927
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's page activity

Visits<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - the 11/29/2014 at 10:48am<b>splash69</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:07pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/08/2014 at 4:45pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 4:14am<b>Cortezthe1st</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 7:14pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 12/24/2013 at 8:40am<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:40am<b>0void0</b> - the 12/09/2013 at 10:28pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 12/07/2013 at 10:29am<b>corocoro</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:30am<b>VHNox</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 8:18pm<b>mnskidoo</b> - the 06/18/2013 at 9:06pm<b>macorncob</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 8:49pm<b>jarrettd</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 2:11pm<b>182yellowgreen41</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 10:26am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 1:15am<b>aMEWzed</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 12:08pm<b>SAspring</b> - the 04/02/2013 at 8:34am

blink_kid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blink_kid's badges

blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, I thought it'd be funny to knee my sister's ass as she was bending over. What I didn't realise was that she was trying to pick up a spider. In shock, she threw it in the air and it landed on my chest. I ran into a wall trying to get it off. FML

#17488478
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (65858)

On 08/16/2011 at 6:17am - animals - by NaniNarcotic - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was caught and fined for picking a lock. I have OCD. I was picking the padlock on a toilet paper holder in a public toilet because the roll was the wrong way round. FML

#17487298
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (12546)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by Anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my little brother proudly informed me that he found a way to suck pool water up his asshole. FML

#17487267
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (2856)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:22am - kids - by Gross... (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37411) - you deserved it (8129)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, I was peeing, and I sneezed. I looked down to see that my gum had flown out of my mouth and gotten caught in my pubes. On the upside I got a new look. FML

#17383761
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21057) - you deserved it (8719)

On 08/06/2011 at 1:15am - misc - by en3rg1zer21 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51236) - you deserved it (9845)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (15533)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23852) - you deserved it (1984)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38679) - you deserved it (2300) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29912) - you deserved it (5053)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

#16984836
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27111) - you deserved it (2641)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by omfgfmlife - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31930) - you deserved it (3862)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13708) - you deserved it (48021)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
298 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14240) - you deserved it (42271)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44103) - you deserved it (3268)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: