Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blink_kid

Search for a member

blink_kid
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2182
  • Number of comments : 148
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's last visitors

splash69turtles4lifeChloeLentin0void0Welshitecorocoromnskidoomacorncobjarrettd182yellowgreen41Covenant74

blink_kid's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blink_kid's badges

blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

#17338945
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48878) - you deserved it (9568)

On 08/02/2011 at 12:52am - intimacy - by INside (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28111) - you deserved it (14937)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

#17102276
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19702) - you deserved it (1683)

On 07/14/2011 at 12:50am - misc - by BelleCharmante (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

#17027356
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37002) - you deserved it (2185) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/08/2011 at 11:46am - health - by Anonymous - Belgium (Liege)

Today, I went to an amateur baseball game with some family and friends. When our team hit a home run, my grandpa took it upon himself to start screaming wildly, removing his prosthetic leg and waving it jubilantly in the air. FML

#17026293
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25070) - you deserved it (4519)

On 07/08/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, my mother insisted I thoroughly water all the plants in and around my house before some people turned up. This would be fine except 90% of them are fake. She is convinced it will make them look "realer." FML

#16984836
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24514) - you deserved it (2413)

On 07/05/2011 at 10:32am - misc - by omfgfmlife - United States (Texas)

Today, I finished reading a book about the treatment of mental patients and decided to use some of the strategies on my dad. We've never gotten along better. FML

#16971210
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30515) - you deserved it (3764)

On 07/04/2011 at 9:24am - misc - by Bekah (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was eating Star Wars gummy candies and I bit R2-D2 in half. My girlfriend looked at it and said "Oh look, now he's R1-D1". It was super cute, but I couldn't help thinking, "That's not how the numbering system works for droids." FML

#16657656
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12517) - you deserved it (45859)

On 06/14/2011 at 6:04am - misc - by techiefIve (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family went and visited my nan. She ushered me in close and asked, "When are you going to knock it off with all this emo cockshite?" FML

#16499579
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13254) - you deserved it (40762)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by Flarewolf (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML

#16494046
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41982) - you deserved it (3131)

On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)

Today, we finally got wireless Internet. My mom won't let us open any doors or windows in fear that it might "let the Internet out". It's 103 degrees in here. FML

#16464662
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52848) - you deserved it (4073)

On 06/02/2011 at 5:45am - health - by meyo555 - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

#16341227
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8547) - you deserved it (30183)

On 05/25/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by anonymous - Singapore

Today, I was brushing my teeth. As a bent down to spit my mouthful of toothpaste into the sink, my cat decided it would be a good time to stick his head right where I was spitting. I spit a huge glob of toothpaste on his head. He then shook it off all over me and the walls. FML

#16157104
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22523) - you deserved it (7493)

On 05/13/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by toothpastecat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I tried to get my wife to have sex with me, she told me she couldn't because she had her period. She's two months pregnant. FML

#15858919
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41456) - you deserved it (9837)

On 04/20/2011 at 12:31pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML

#15857597
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30617) - you deserved it (2981)

On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: