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blink_kid

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blink_kid
  • Town/Country : Aberdeen, Scotland
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1172
  • Number of comments : 143
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

About blink_kid : AKA Jen. I like VW campervans, dreamcatchers, underwear, good spelling and saving the world :)

blink_kid's last visitors

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blink_kid's FML badges

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

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blink_kid's favorite FMLs

Today, I was helping first-graders do school work when one of them stabbed me in the face with a pencil, all because I told her that a three was backwards. FML

#18396492
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (2275)

On 11/30/2011 at 6:46pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got a round brush stuck in my hair so badly that I couldn't get it out for 45 minutes, and had a panic attack. I had to drive through town with a brush dangling from my head, to the hair salon, and listen to them laugh while they got it out. FML

#18394314
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16231) - you deserved it (6210)

On 11/30/2011 at 2:25pm - misc - by maggie (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

#18342108
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23176) - you deserved it (2031)

On 11/24/2011 at 10:12pm - misc - by hannahlorraine - United States

Today, my boyfriend used a laser pointer to show me where I needed to lose weight. FML

#18329759
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25346) - you deserved it (4121)

On 11/23/2011 at 6:54pm - health - by chunkymonkey (woman) -

Today, I had a dream that I was trying to pop a balloon. Nothing I did was working, so I put it between my knees and tried to pop it that way. Immediately, I woke up to the sound of frantic hissing and meowing. As it turns out, I was trying to pop the cat. FML

#18312960
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27759) - you deserved it (4476)

On 11/21/2011 at 11:46pm - animals - by furryballoon (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at 2am, I heard a strange sound coming from the hallway. I walked over, only to discover my drunk boyfriend pissing in the closet. On my favorite shoes. FML

#18295941
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25511) - you deserved it (3916)

On 11/20/2011 at 5:23am - love - by Stinky (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom called me crazy and told me she wanted to put me in a mental hospital. She did this after repeatedly hitting me with a shoe. Why? Because I forgot to put the cap back on the toothpaste. FML

#18253944
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28193) - you deserved it (2426)

On 11/15/2011 at 7:51am - misc - by whoopsboutthecap - United States

Today, I got home late to find my dad outside mowing the lawn in the dark. I told him the neighbors were going to think he lost his marbles for mowing it at that time. He then informed me he wasn't mowing it, he was vacuuming it. FML

#18234990
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22760) - you deserved it (1762)

On 11/13/2011 at 3:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, only after I almost knocked myself out cold with the shampoo bottle, did I finally get some out. FML

#18229503
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13058) - you deserved it (3826)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:13pm - health - by Courtney (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

#18216431
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22394) - you deserved it (5501)

On 11/11/2011 at 3:42am - health - by devinchi (man) - United States

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

#18095448
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12515) - you deserved it (9615)

On 10/28/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by blabla (woman) - Brazil

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24505) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my five-year-old daughter came home from school. It was cold and she was very tired. I said, "Take off your socks and blow your nose." She took off her socks and blew her nose into them. FML

#18044688
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (11994) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/22/2011 at 8:40am - kids - by titoutou222 - France

Today, I went to the doctor for a physical. I've been sitting in the doctor's bathroom for 10 minutes now, trying to think of how to tell him I accidentally tripped and spilled my urine sample on the carpet. FML

#18030008
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19398) - you deserved it (3099)

On 10/20/2011 at 8:04am - health - by socal000 (man) - United States

Today, I was trying to change the batteries of my automatic room freshener. As I held it to my face to figure out where the batteries went, it started spraying on my face. FML

#17965758
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7607) - you deserved it (15933)

On 10/12/2011 at 3:17am - misc - by spoiled22 (man) - United Kingdom



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