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bleachedcolors

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bleachedcolors

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  • Number of visits : 30
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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Consolation prize

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bleachedcolors's favorite FMLs

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

#15075987
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46763) - you deserved it (4266)

On 02/22/2011 at 7:25am - misc - by no name -

Today, my six year old told me I have a big nose. When I told her that she hurt my feelings, she laughed and said "Don't be silly mummy, ugly people don't have feelings." FML

#14199055
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (111988) - you deserved it (15208)

On 12/14/2010 at 3:21am - kids - by uglywoman - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I admitted to my boyfriend of three years that I have been suffering from depression for a while now. He took it as a good time to dump me. FML

#13939076
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28608) - you deserved it (3794)

On 11/22/2010 at 5:39pm - love - by Username -

Today, was my uncle's funeral. He was cremated, and his wish was to have his ashes spread into the sea. As we were waiting for the waves to come and take him away, a group of seagulls came by picking at all his ashes. I guess he tasted good. FML

#12782393
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28512) - you deserved it (2932)

On 08/28/2010 at 2:07am - misc - by SeagullsShouldDie - United States

Today, I superglued my headphones back together. They weren't dry before I put them back in my ears. FML

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14398) - you deserved it (36258)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was showing a house to a couple who were interested in buying. At least they "were" interested until they opened the blinds, looked out of the bedroom window and saw the neighbor on the toilet taking a dump. He was naked. He was hairy. He smiled and waved. FML

#12109391
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32903) - you deserved it (3066)

On 07/25/2010 at 8:07pm - work - by anon (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was walking down the street and spotted a man who was about 6 and a half feet tall passing by me. As he passed me, I turned and asked him "How's the weather up there?" He then turned around, spat on me, and replied "Raining." FML

#12099804
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12571) - you deserved it (112662)

On 07/25/2010 at 5:06am - misc - by spriggs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML

#12082068
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17137) - you deserved it (67992)

On 07/24/2010 at 6:53am - misc - by GirlishMan1883897 (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

#6933168
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28841) - you deserved it (10437)

On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)



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  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

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