About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
You sure know how to party?
You posted a comment on the 31st of December between 11pm and 1am. Happy New Year!
Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44652) - you deserved it (7275)
On 12/23/2012 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Saradee (woman) - United States (California)
Today, at a Christmas party, my crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response my stupid brain could think of was, "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19819) - you deserved it (8928)
On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16706) - you deserved it (1978)
On 08/10/2012 at 12:40am - misc - by banana2894 - United States (Oregon)
Today, my wife is giving birth to our first born. I am an officer stationed overseas. Apparently, I am not only missing the birth, but I also missed the conception. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46639) - you deserved it (221)
On 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm - love - by moodyreallyrocks - United States (Kentucky)
Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (32188)
On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I had to take an emergency contraceptive. I was talking to my boyfriend about it, and I told him that my stomach really hurt. His response? "Aw. That's just the baby dying." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38113) - you deserved it (14898)
On 02/25/2011 at 12:12am - intimacy - by greenchan (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, I caught my daughter attempting to stick pencils up our cat's butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31684) - you deserved it (3698)
On 11/29/2010 at 10:03pm - kids - by Laura -
Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time.Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12522) - you deserved it (2384)
On 02/26/2010 at 5:21am - intimacy - by humiliated - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was picking up my little sister from school and while waiting I decided to have a smoke. I was caught and was told to go to the principal's office. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10127) - you deserved it (16730)
On 01/22/2010 at 9:10pm - misc - by oldschool (man) - United States (California)
Today, my friends took my phone and changed all the contact's names to characters from Harry Potter. I have over a hundred contacts and no idea who I'm talking to. I've been texting Draco Malfoy for 4 hours now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15471) - you deserved it (2686)
On 09/18/2009 at 4:41am - misc - by MissMSE (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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