blazon_paradox

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 7:39am)

blazon_paradox

2Fucked!

blazon_paradoxblazon_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2074
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...

blazon_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 6:39pm<b>AwesomeAsylum</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:56pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:02am<b>LaLince</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:42pm<b>MaeJae2000</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:02pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:34pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:37am<b>brytonhansen</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:28pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>northern_rebel</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:46pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:54pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:05am<b>leo_ost</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:04pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Dro23</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:55pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:52pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:39pm<b>LaLince</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:42pm

blazon_paradox's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of blazon_paradox's badges

blazon_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/27/2013 at 3:21am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Geek

Today, I confessed to my boyfriend that I was in love with his best friend. He confessed that he was too. FML

by me / 08/21/2013 at 7:45pm / Ireland (Dublin) / Love

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

by anonymous / 08/19/2013 at 1:41am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

by MarissaKayleen / 08/12/2013 at 6:06am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

by Stacy / 07/13/2013 at 12:22am / United States / Love

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

by Anonymous / 06/11/2013 at 11:20am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

by Mylifesucks / 05/23/2013 at 1:11am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

by lez probs / 05/18/2013 at 8:54am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I played Call of Duty with my new flatmate. He continuously lost and was outraged that a girl beat him. It resulted in him shouting at me, claiming that since I'm Muslim, I must be part of the Taliban, which would explain my gaming skills. FML

by zahra_786 / 04/11/2013 at 5:11am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

by anonymous / 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm / United States (Hawaii) / Intimacy

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

by Anna L. / 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

by ShadowBox / 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm / Netherlands (Gelderland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went with my dad to Starbucks. There is this really cute guy who works there and he kept looking over at me, so I went over to say hi. He ended up asking if my dad was single. FML

by lonely girl / 03/11/2013 at 12:17am / United States / Love