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blazon_paradox

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blazon_paradox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 284
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...

blazon_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>itsmecutiepie</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 8:38am<b>aclark2523</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 7:38pm<b>lexypaige</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 5:07pm<b>DougK76</b> - the 01/22/2014 at 11:26pm<b>sunshinepoptart</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 3:54pm<b>spazz666</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:45am<b>20smc09</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 11:16am<b>beerlaoisawesome</b> - the 01/21/2014 at 7:24am<b>Awesomeaxel</b> - the 01/20/2014 at 11:55pm<b>Sockturtle</b> - the 10/25/2013 at 6:58pm<b>MTLCH</b> - the 09/30/2013 at 2:43pm<b>Mrs_QTPie</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 1:36pm<b>Potteria</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 10:08am<b>gibbyrules</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Branlamb</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 4:04pm<b>bgard8</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 3:37pm<b>friedchickenesha</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 3:23pm<b>GuessWhatKids</b> - the 07/23/2013 at 2:44pm

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Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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blazon_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (5839)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33453) - you deserved it (5048)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I discovered that the neck injury that my mom has had since last week was planned just as an excuse not to shovel when today's snowstorm came. She has planned on being lazy for over a week now. FML

#20533403
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25994) - you deserved it (2672)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:16am - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33120) - you deserved it (4960)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35246) - you deserved it (5352)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)

Today, I was playing Slender, when I caught a glimpse of the Slenderman. I jumped in my chair, letting rip a huge fart in the process. Nobody heard it, but only because my shrieks of terror drowned out the sound. FML

#20498426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21473) - you deserved it (8383)

On 02/08/2013 at 4:59pm - misc - by theydidsmellitthough (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

#20494997
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34477) - you deserved it (6685)

On 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm - love - by NewlyDread (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30722) - you deserved it (19678)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29212) - you deserved it (3611)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I dragged my boyfriend to see Les Misérables with me. He now refuses to communicate with me through any medium other than singing. Apparently, this is his revenge. FML

#20471580
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15374) - you deserved it (45087)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:39pm - love - by lesson.learned (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me all about how his parents sat him down last night and had a 20 minute talk with him about how I'm the biggest mistake he'll ever make. FML

#20468803
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31786) - you deserved it (3513)

On 01/20/2013 at 12:01am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27778) - you deserved it (11150)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I came out to my parents. They laughed in my face. FML

#20445704
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26033) - you deserved it (5901)

On 01/07/2013 at 1:09am - misc - by areyoukiddingme (woman) - United States



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