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blazon_paradox

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blazon_paradox
  • Town/Country : Cleveland, US of A
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1989 (24 years)
  • Number of visits : 216
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...

blazon_paradox's last visitors

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

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blazon_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29571) - you deserved it (7672)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32944) - you deserved it (18487)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my house was broken into. After we called the police, my dad started calling himself Sherlock Holmes and talking in a British accent. He insists on calling me Watson. He is going around the neighborhood acting like Sherlock, investigating stuff. He won't stop. FML

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

#20778979
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61962) - you deserved it (4611)

On 07/13/2013 at 12:22am - love - by Stacy (woman) - United States

Today, I was meeting my boyfriend's family for the first time. The minute I stepped in the door his mother hit me in the face and kicked me out because I was "the slut her husband cheated on her with." My older sister and I look much alike. Too much alike. FML

#20719355
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58517) - you deserved it (3889)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was stuck in my apartment complex's elevator. I was shouting out for help when a voice came screaming, "This is the fire department." I was relieved until he said, "Just kidding." FML

#20681121
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (2773)

On 05/23/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by Mylifesucks - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mom took me to a bar to cheer me up after being dumped. Two cute guys around my age kept looking over at us the whole night. When I told my mom, she said she was going to get them to come talk to me. Instead, she ended up leaving with both of them. FML

#20679725
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52734) - you deserved it (4446)

On 05/22/2013 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time when her mother unexpectedly came home. In the rush to get dressed, we accidentally put on each other's shirts. Her mom noticed. FML

#20670515
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44659) - you deserved it (16355)

On 05/18/2013 at 8:54am - intimacy - by lez probs - United States

Today, I dressed up as Batman for a comic book convention. I was hit by a car on the way there by a man dressed up as the Joker for the same convention. FML

#20587443
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57487) - you deserved it (19401)

On 04/13/2013 at 1:04am - misc - by ironies a b*tch - United States (Illinois)

Today, I awoke to my husband talking to someone on the phone at 2am. I heard him say, "Baby you're making me hard." Immediately, I asked him who he was talking to. His response? "It's Jake, from State Farm." FML

#20562846
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70629) - you deserved it (6034)

On 03/27/2013 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27269) - you deserved it (5311)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, I picked up my new car. The dealer offered to connect my iPhone to the Bluetooth system for me. Once connected it automatically started playing the audiobook I had been listening to over the stereo system. Right on a passage which had an extremely graphic description of anal sex. FML

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32159) - you deserved it (4890)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29332) - you deserved it (4530)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, after more than a year of being single, I finally had sex. Unfortunately, it was only in a dream, and after we finished, he told me that I'm terrible in bed. Even my dream-lover is a dick. FML

#20510821
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33215) - you deserved it (5112)

On 02/17/2013 at 2:19pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Botswana (North-East)



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