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blazon_paradox

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blazon_paradox

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Saturday 22 April 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 628
  • Number of comments : 28
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...

blazon_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>Bukowskiwasanass</b> - yesterday at 5:23am<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Dro23</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:55pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:52pm<b>CuntBlaster</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 1:06am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 12:16am<b>sallee23444</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 7:44pm<b>Squtchy</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 6:50pm<b>billy_blayze</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 5:57pm<b>staaacey</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 7:29am<b>justawallflower</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 10:11pm<b>FireLightEyes</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 1:53pm<b>tyler3beeching</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:59pm<b>sonnyngoc</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:00am<b>flufee2</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:35pm<b>hopsinlove17</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 10:47pm<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 9:03pm<b>coried91</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 11:34am

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blazon_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38849) - you deserved it (5552)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

#21252521
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41050) - you deserved it (3679)

On 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm - love - by apparentlybutch (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

#21250726
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50452) - you deserved it (2479)

On 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm - misc - by SadAndDeaf -

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40423) - you deserved it (25486)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38906) - you deserved it (9268)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

#21058095
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38940) - you deserved it (5164)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm - misc - by airhead2015 (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

#21051355
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42013) - you deserved it (21828)

On 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm - kids - by Evolution mama (woman) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

#21011680
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34394) - you deserved it (9096)

On 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

#21005939
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30949) - you deserved it (7949)

On 12/26/2013 at 7:08am - love - by anon - Australia

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

#20985281
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53059) - you deserved it (2930)

On 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm - kids - by OakStake (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

#20970124
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47504) - you deserved it (17215)

On 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by sister sister - United States (New York)

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

#20866691
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34721) - you deserved it (6290)

On 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm - misc - by JustAnotherFML23 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got in a heated fight and ended up being punched in the jaw. The fight was about Harry Potter. FML

#20856159
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34336) - you deserved it (19124)

On 08/27/2013 at 3:21am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (New Brunswick)



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