blazon_paradox

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Offline (the 12/18/2015 at 7:39am)

blazon_paradox

2Fucked!

blazon_paradoxblazon_paradox
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Friday 21 April 1989 (27 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1900
  • Number of comments : 29
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 4 posted

About blazon_paradox : Mimble wimble...

blazon_paradox's page activity

Visits<b>SweetMaria</b> - the 06/12/2016 at 1:23am<b>shebewoofle</b> - the 04/11/2016 at 8:21am<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 6:39pm<b>AwesomeAsylum</b> - the 12/04/2015 at 1:56pm<b>mattmillabruh</b> - the 12/03/2015 at 2:02am<b>LaLince</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 2:42pm<b>MaeJae2000</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 7:02pm<b>colinabi</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 9:34pm<b>theFickleFinger</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:37am<b>brytonhansen</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 3:28pm<b>ajk168</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 12:43am<b>northern_rebel</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 3:46pm<b>phoneaddict13</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 4:54pm<b>MissyPants</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 3:05am<b>leo_ost</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:04pm<b>chattysoul890</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:27pm<b>Dro23</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:55pm<b>morlogg</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 12:52pm

Fucked!<b>eski2015</b> - the 03/23/2016 at 11:39pm<b>LaLince</b> - the 11/11/2015 at 8:42pm

blazon_paradox's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of blazon_paradox's badges

blazon_paradox's favorite FMLs

Today, I was sent to the principal's office because I refused to take my earbuds out. Those "earbuds" are my hearing aids. FML

by Deaf / 07/02/2015 at 2:59pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my husband felt dishonoured: his darling little girl, the love of his life, whom he's always considered pure, turns out to be pregnant. He's now warned her: she's grounded and that whoever did this to her had better not come hanging round the house. Pussy, two years old, is now housebound until her kittens are born. FML

by Anonyme / 09/26/2014 at 2:56am / France (Lorraine) / Animals

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

by Sinnersinner / 09/21/2014 at 7:27am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

by blazon_paradox / 09/16/2014 at 11:18pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked out the girl I really like. She turned me down, saying that she's a lesbian. That'd be fine, if I were a guy. FML

by apparentlybutch / 09/05/2014 at 5:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Love

Today, my sister introduced me to her new, deaf boyfriend. She proudly proclaimed that she was trying to learn sign language for his sake, so he wouldn't have to read her lips. I'm also deaf and have been trying to get her to do the same for me for 20 goddamn years. FML

by SadAndDeaf / 09/02/2014 at 7:38pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

by not a dick-man / 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

by Anonyname / 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran out of toilet paper. I yelled from the bathroom for my parents to bring me some toilet paper. My dad slipped one tiny piece of toilet paper under the door and boomed, "THE FINAL TEST." FML

by airhead2015 / 02/12/2014 at 12:57pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I presented my child with the classic "Who came first, the chicken or the egg?" conundrum. In return, I got a detailed lecture on how birds evolved from dinosaurs, how life was created in the sea and an explanation about evolution. I got schooled by a 9 year old. FML

by Evolution mama / 02/05/2014 at 2:52pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids

Today, I introduced my dad, who is a surgeon, to the TV show House. I thought it'd be a good bonding experience. How wrong I was. He spent the whole time yelling about the "insane" medical inaccuracies, then lectured me about my crappy taste in TV. FML

by Anonymous / 12/31/2013 at 3:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched "Time of the Doctor" and I'm pretty sure my love of Doctor Who slithered out through my ear and shamefully lodged itself in the darkest corner of the room, crying. FML

by anon / 12/26/2013 at 7:08am / Australia / Love

Today, my elderly neighbor along with our community church's priest came to my house and demanded to "give them the girl". The girl is my 3-year-old daughter, who has natural born red irises and is photo-sensitive. And yes, we are also Romanian. FML

by OakStake / 12/08/2013 at 5:07pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, after having some drinks at the club, I went home with this awesome girl. When I woke up, I thought the house looked really familiar. It belonged to my ex's younger sister. FML

by sister sister / 11/25/2013 at 12:38pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my loneliness reached a new level when I befriended the fly in my apartment, Mr. Stickyfoot. FML

by JustAnotherFML23 / 09/03/2013 at 9:32pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous