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blazingturtle

Offline (the 10/21/2014 at 1:18am) | Search for a member

blazingturtle

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 12 June 1993 (21 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 116
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

About blazingturtle : "Life aint nothin but bitches and money"-Ice Cube

blazingturtle's page activity

Visits<b>hacksaw246</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 12:22pm<b>Queensland</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:56am<b>gjikvtj</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:01am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 4:30am<b>PhilSnake22</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 7:42pm<b>SpeedToast</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:21pm<b>Meth5Life</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 10:35am<b>Mynameislinh</b> - the 06/28/2014 at 2:03pm<b>WCARlover</b> - the 06/13/2014 at 10:59am<b>Mistress420xX</b> - the 11/06/2013 at 3:20pm

blazingturtle's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

See all of blazingturtle's badges

blazingturtle's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

#21281604
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36952) - you deserved it (2734)

On 10/20/2014 at 5:28am - intimacy - by bye loser (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my daughter was scared to go to the bathroom because she thought there was a person behind the shower curtain. There actually was a person behind the shower curtain. FML

#21137389
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59910) - you deserved it (5136)

On 05/12/2014 at 1:17am - kids - by kids -

Today, I was being shown how to use a nail gun while applying for a job at a construction company. The instructor shot me in the arm with it. I didn't even get the job. FML

#21107174
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44941) - you deserved it (3147)

On 04/07/2014 at 10:13pm - work - by watch_corn_dance - United States (Illinois)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56669) - you deserved it (5695)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24762) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while sitting on the couch, my boyfriend came over, pulled his penis out of his fly, and started stabbing me in the face with it while humming the Jaws theme. FML

#14990668
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46197) - you deserved it (13259)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I came home from a year long backpacking trip in Europe. During my absence my parents divorced, dad took the house and most of the money, sister is seven months pregnant, brother was arrested for statutory rape, and my mom pawned all my stuff to buy booze to "cope." Oh, and my fish died. FML

#6989911
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83959) - you deserved it (4752)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was playing football for my school. I had the ball and was running down the sideline. The guy behind pulled my flag off along with my shorts and boxers. I dove to try to escape and I happened to land on the hottest girl in the class who was on the sideline. I had no pants on. FML

#6265559
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30018) - you deserved it (4411)

On 11/11/2009 at 10:05pm - misc - by DangerZone (man) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML

#5304412
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16804) - you deserved it (49901)

On 09/16/2009 at 11:16pm - misc - by civic4life (man) - United States (California)

Today, an extremely large lady came into the dry cleaners where I work. She puts what I assume is a blanket on the counter to be dry cleaned. I said, "So just the one blanket then?" She replied, "Those are my pants, not a blanket." She was a size 56. FML

Today, I fell asleep. I felt something on my face. I batted it away. It was my hamster. It died from a concussion upon hitting the wall. FML

#8687
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (13286)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:29pm - animals - by EpicFail (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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