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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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blairebright

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blairebright
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 278
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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blairebright's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend of 8 months dumped me over the phone in between telling the Subway employees what he wanted on his sandwich. FML

#5230758 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (37098) - you deserved it (2124)

On 09/13/2009 at 3:18pm - love - by misc (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

#5164209 (147)

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (2902)

On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

#3146320 (459)

I agree, your life sucks (137091) - you deserved it (19619)

On 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm - kids - by ....... (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I noticed I have to lift up my fat to see my penis. FML

#2681681 (380)

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (87893)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:02am - love - by dawg3360 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374 (301)

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (3474)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend of two years asked me to marry him so that we can consolidate our student loans. FML

#2376040 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (43532) - you deserved it (2350)

On 05/28/2009 at 3:51pm - love - by loserface23 (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I kissed my husband and said "I love you." Thats when our 5 year old son said to my husband "How can you love her so much if she's so ugly?" FML

#2158640 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (48854) - you deserved it (2459)

On 05/21/2009 at 8:20pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a call saying that my son was chasing all the girls in the class with his "Sword of Death", otherwise known as my dildo. FML

#2147353 (358)

I agree, your life sucks (68943) - you deserved it (32612)

On 05/21/2009 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by a (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I went to my girlfriend's Catholic all girls high school to ask her to prom by decorating her car. As soon as I walked on campus the school went into lock down because of a "suspicious male intruder." When I saw my girlfriend, she denied knowing me. I was arrested. FML

#2109937 (226)

I agree, your life sucks (57368) - you deserved it (4384)

On 05/20/2009 at 11:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later came into the T-Mobile that I work at to return the Sidekick that I bought for her. I had to transfer her account to a new Iphone. She got the Iphone from her new boyfriend, who works across the street from me. FML

#2073712 (220)

I agree, your life sucks (53046) - you deserved it (3079)

On 05/19/2009 at 4:09am - love - by SKuser (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, I asked my girl friend of a year and a half to give me a blow job. She replied okay and bent down and blew on my penis. Then she looked up at me and said was that good. She was serious. FML

#909616 (350)

I agree, your life sucks (57262) - you deserved it (14846)

On 04/11/2009 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got back my math test. Instead of taking the time to mark the mistakes, my professor just circled the bottom half of the page and wrote "OMG." FML

#853708 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (176) - you deserved it (18650)

On 04/07/2009 at 2:37pm - work - by aviators (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML

#828379 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (14182) - you deserved it (46804)

On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML

#818828 (280)

I agree, your life sucks (53022) - you deserved it (11887)

On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working at a Subway store right next to a big hospital, there was a big line of people all getting their subs toasted. Without turning around, I asked the next person in line, "I'll bet you want yours extra toasted?" She was a burns victim from the hospital. FML

#814481 (146)

I agree, your life sucks (30779) - you deserved it (56854)

On 04/05/2009 at 9:48am - work - by 00Evan (man) - Australia (Queensland)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.