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blairbeartmp

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blairbeartmp

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  • Number of visits : 1053
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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blairbeartmp's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:34pm<b>cmillertime7</b> - the 09/13/2009 at 4:43am<b>lloyd1992</b> - the 07/29/2009 at 12:07pm<b>vaguelyelectric</b> - the 06/24/2009 at 4:34pm<b>carrot89</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 9:17pm<b>littlemuffet</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 7:02pm<b>allmidnighteyes</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 5:45pm<b>Jaxro</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 12:07pm<b>Bob77</b> - the 06/13/2009 at 7:05pm

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blairbeartmp's favorite FMLs

Today, I got written up at work for making a customer feel bad. I made him feel bad by laughing uncontrollably at him when he asked if we sold real light sabers. FML

#4945684
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45601) - you deserved it (13792)

On 08/31/2009 at 1:18am - work - by Timmah (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend getting it on with the neighbour's daughter. As soon as he saw me, he started singing 'It Wasn't Me' by Shaggy, completely naked, still sitting with the girl. FML

#4933603
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55125) - you deserved it (4419)

On 08/30/2009 at 5:26pm - love - by shaggy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML

#3840283
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48906) - you deserved it (3200)

On 07/17/2009 at 8:12pm - kids - by heresmybellybotton (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my wife gave me head lice on purpose so I would have to cut off the ponytail that I've been growing since '99. FML

#3830576
334 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27760) - you deserved it (87824)

On 07/17/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by anonamous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that my 'girlfriend', who I've been emailing with, was really my friend playing a prank on me. He asked me for naked pictures of myself and I sent them to him. FML

#2842632
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21619) - you deserved it (72581)

On 06/12/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by Paco4242 (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140170) - you deserved it (10018)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (83746)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

#1246949
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22665) - you deserved it (83746)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:44am - health - by tgstreaks (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I spotted one of my friends using the ATM outside our school's university center. I crept up behind him, grabbed his shoulders abruptly, and shouted in my best deep man-voice, "Give me all your money!" Turned out to be a poor, unsuspecting freshman. He gave me his money. FML

#1242967
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11219) - you deserved it (67953)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on somewhat of a blind date. The date was OK until he tried to spoon feed me. This didn't go over so well. Later, I noticed a strange looking brief case he was carrying. I asked him what it was and he whipped out 5 yoyos and did a yoyo show in the middle of the restaurant. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59680) - you deserved it (6196)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35595) - you deserved it (92990)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband and I were talking about names for our expectant child. I told him since I named our daughter he could name our son. He's decided on a name from 'God of War'. My son is going to be named after a make-believe cartoon character - Kratos. FML

#1182028
646 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50371) - you deserved it (29333)

On 04/21/2009 at 12:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my hamster gave birth. The babies were very cute and I couldn't resist petting one. Apparently touching a baby hamster will cause it's mother to reject and devour it. I am now know in my family as "The Hamster Slaughterer." FML

#1177912
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51181) - you deserved it (23970)

On 04/20/2009 at 11:11pm - animals - by whymommywhy (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I drove past a firehouse that had volunteer firemen taking collections. I take out a $20 and start to roll the window down when I remember my window was broken. I ended up driving by, holding the $20 against the window, staring at the fireman. Now the fireman thinks I was taunting him. FML

#1076233
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45941) - you deserved it (15230)

On 04/18/2009 at 1:09am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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