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Up and coming moderator
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50 favourites
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Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37637) - you deserved it (3807)
On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37838) - you deserved it (2536)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom looked through my browser history and saw Chatroulette. She thought I'd gotten into online gambling, and wouldn't believe me when I explained what it really was. After I insisted on showing her, the first chat window to open contained cocks as far as the eye could see. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18082) - you deserved it (27817)
On 06/03/2011 at 8:41pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend's present to me was that he actually flushed the toilet AND put the seat down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27306) - you deserved it (4884)
On 04/27/2011 at 10:41pm - love - by suckishbf (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31150) - you deserved it (3748)
On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you deserved it (29927)
On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was going to my prom. My mom knows I want to drink so to prevent me, she made sure I took my prescription medicine before I left. I guess her way of stopping me from drinking is killing myself If I do. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11160) - you deserved it (4179)
On 03/26/2011 at 8:26pm - health - by coolkid111 - United States (New York)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33533) - you deserved it (8033)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, without even trying, I convinced my 17-year-old daughter that blueberries are just peas holding their breath. I have raised a complete airhead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30262) - you deserved it (49786)
On 12/11/2010 at 9:44am - kids - by parentfail (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51139) - you deserved it (9746)
On 12/01/2010 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, was my first day at school. I got kicked out of the class for imitating a monkey. I wasn't imitating a monkey... I was laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26859) - you deserved it (3548)
On 11/16/2010 at 2:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (HaDarom)
Today, I told my parents that I wanted a little brother. My dad apparently thought it would be funny to tell me that my mom just swallowed my little brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47362) - you deserved it (6504)
On 11/13/2010 at 2:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16472) - you deserved it (46610)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38131) - you deserved it (11245)
On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I got on a treadmill for the first time. I was running at a very high speed. I needed a break but didn't know how to get off. I decided to just let the machine take me to the edge so I could get off. I was thrown off the treadmill and landed with my happy sacks crashing into a dumbbell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4825) - you deserved it (26437)
On 01/09/2010 at 5:17am - health - by King7 (man) - Pakistan (Sindh)
Friday 24 May 2013
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