blader0314

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blader0314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 14766
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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blader0314's page activity

Visits<b>MidnightTrue</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 12:25am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:14pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:59am<b>Jill_12</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 1:43pm<b>mckenzv</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:25pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:45pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 4:17pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 2:17pm<b>jqkmaster</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:50am<b>katelyns</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 5:47am

blader0314's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

blader0314's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was playing a medieval game with my brother, when he took all of his character's clothes off and said, "Let's have sex!" I looked at him and said, "UH YOU ARE MY BROTHER!" He turns and looks at me, smiling and says, "But not in the game!" I am a 19 year old girl. He is 12. FML

by Sylvania / 06/10/2009 at 7:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I checked facebook, only to find out that my close cousin is now married. When I looked at the pictures, I saw that my whole family was there - including my sister, mother and father. I was the only one who wasn't invited. FML

by Oh_baby / 06/10/2009 at 1:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my two year old daughter was playing in the kitchen. I went to go have a look and she was pretend cooking. When I asked what she was making she said "look mommy, chocolate!" and stuck her finger in my mouth. It wasn't chocolate. FML

by Lisaa918 / 06/10/2009 at 10:49am / United States (Indiana) / Kids

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

by sluttydancer / 06/10/2009 at 9:51am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my adorable five and a half year old boy told me that when he grows up he's going to be my boyfriend. I thought it was kinda cute until I asked him why. "Because you need one." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2009 at 9:12am / United States (Maine) / Kids

Today, I was playing paintball when I noticed a 9 year old fat kid sitting and crying on the ground. Thinking he'd fallen and was hurt, I walked over to him. He looks up and shoots me in the face, arm, stomach, and happy sacks area from 4 feet away then runs off. He was not hurt at all, and now everything tastes like paint. FML

by Woody / 06/09/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent causing the girl to scream and runaway. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

by Baggabbles123 / 06/08/2009 at 7:24pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, I got hypnotized at my school's variety show. Apparently, when asked to do something I enjoy doing, I began to violently hump the floor. FML

by OhGeez / 06/08/2009 at 3:41pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my mom paid my best friend $20 to be my friend when we were 10. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

Today, I tried to imitate Mary Poppins by jumping off a shed with an umbrella. I spent the next 3 hours in the emergency room. My leg is broken. FML

by Anonymous / 05/29/2009 at 11:04pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML

by Wade / 05/29/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I picked up my 4-year-old daughter from day care. As we're driving home, a butterfly lands on the windshield. Just as my daughter comments on how pretty the butterfly is, I turned a corner and accidentally hit the windshield wipers and smeared the pretty butterfly across the windshield. FML

by reb2632 / 05/29/2009 at 4:13pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, I went to a dollar store with a couple friends to buy cap guns to play with. We were having a lot of fun with them, and took them onto a bus. 5 minutes later, three cops got on, handcuffed us, and sternly talked to us about the dangers of guns. We got arrested for toy guns. We are 17. FML

by arrestedgun / 05/23/2009 at 3:37am / Canada / Miscellaneous