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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom yelling, "Mommy-mommy that lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9089) - you deserved it (2534)
On 11/25/2009 at 2:36am - kids - by n/a - United States
Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23202) - you deserved it (1302)
On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (4659)
On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5537) - you deserved it (16586)
Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25670) - you deserved it (1070)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (31619)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)
Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20066) - you deserved it (10118)
On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (1173)
On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14087) - you deserved it (3655)
On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)
Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30691) - you deserved it (2184)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8671) - you deserved it (3268)
On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)
Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8971) - you deserved it (36866)
On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31855) - you deserved it (2158)
On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13706) - you deserved it (7147)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19612) - you deserved it (3503)
On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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