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Beginner
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24199) - you deserved it (1961)
On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)
Today, since we hadn't be romantic for a while, I shaved, bathed, cut my hair and snuggled naked up to my husband in bed. He got up went to the computer, masturbated to porn, came back to bed and asked me what was for breakfast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20831) - you deserved it (2855)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:41pm - intimacy - by Inkabadger (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (8187) - you deserved it (22614)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23136) - you deserved it (3435)
On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I thought it would be funny to touch my girlfriend's back with my cold hands. She thought it would be funny to crush my left testicle with her knee as I was trying to fall asleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9804) - you deserved it (31207)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:51am - love - by inpain (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35885) - you deserved it (5815)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36104) - you deserved it (5347)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:29am - love - by lonelyman (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5703) - you deserved it (28511)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, my iPod dropped out of my pocket while I was walking. Trying to be cool, I attempted to kick it back into the air to catch it before it hit the ground. Upon making contact with my foot, It ended up detaching from my headphones and flying 10 feet. Right into a sewer grate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5609) - you deserved it (47684)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:57pm - misc - by Adam (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my girlfriend and I were sitting downstairs with my mom. We heard the dog running around upstairs and called it down. It came running down the stairs. With a used condom in its mouth. The same condom my girlfriend and I lost two weeks ago. It put it directly in my mom's hands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12388) - you deserved it (5373)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:35pm - intimacy - by Tucker (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I woke up with a ridiculous hangover and no memory of last night. I called my friend who told me that I was so trashed I ended up eating all the hamburgers and chicken fingers in her fridge. I've been a vegetarian for 15 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8670) - you deserved it (34683)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:11pm - misc - by squishy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I learned that if you stare at your cat and her eyes suddenly get really big, it means she's going to maul your face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11871) - you deserved it (20795)
On 11/18/2009 at 4:01pm - animals - by nycplywood (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (1998)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a woman cursed me out, called me a perverted freak, and said I should be ashamed of myself because I had asked her "How much for one night?." She works in a toy shop, I was with my five year old daughter, and was pointing to the sign, "Rent A Helium Tank!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (33023) - you deserved it (1998)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:52pm - kids - by whatthewhat - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I found out I will not be getting my class ring. The jeweler has a policy against doing engravings that contain "obscene or offensive language or phrases". What obscene phrase did I want? My initials and year. W.T.F. 2010. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30979) - you deserved it (1918)
On 11/18/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by Grad2010 (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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