Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blackwidowtaco

Online | Search for a member

blackwidowtaco

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4768
  • Number of comments : 438
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/03/2015 at 7:40pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 6:46pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 03/27/2015 at 10:01pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 9:31am<b>LittleRed79</b> - the 01/26/2015 at 10:21am<b>invadermaythe1st</b> - the 12/24/2014 at 1:05pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 11/11/2014 at 1:52pm<b>TEZZ</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 3:44pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 09/03/2014 at 2:29am<b>ZaroraQuinsey</b> - the 08/21/2014 at 1:34am<b>yehyeh</b> - the 05/03/2014 at 2:22am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 12:13am<b>thedeadmen</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Rababco</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 4:15pm<b>Helldemon</b> - the 12/02/2013 at 7:10pm<b>DEATHBYEX1LE</b> - the 11/04/2013 at 1:17am<b>tallbaby9891</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 1:56pm<b>Kain713</b> - the 10/02/2013 at 9:24pm

blackwidowtaco's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of blackwidowtaco's badges

blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

#17839732
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38441) - you deserved it (3166)

On 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized my tampon goes deeper than my boyfriend. FML

#17786255
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53381) - you deserved it (6370)

On 09/20/2011 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Cantgetno (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got kicked in the crotch. It popped my cherry. I lost my virginity to a shoe. FML

#17779717
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56644) - you deserved it (5590)

On 09/19/2011 at 10:39am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30554) - you deserved it (2816)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, it was my last day at my dad's. I thought he'd want to say goodbye, instead he told me, "Hope you've got all your shit. Anything you leave, I'm burning." FML

#17649393
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30188) - you deserved it (2430)

On 09/03/2011 at 12:33am - misc - by Panda_Bearr - United States (Michigan)

Today, my report card finally came in. My mom took one look at it and told me that if I'm not going to take my grades seriously, I might as well start looking for a sugar daddy. But first, I apparently need to work on prettying myself up. FML

#17644217
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (8284)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:58pm - misc - by tryingtobepretty101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36145) - you deserved it (4523)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, while working in my pharmacy, a patient told me that he sometimes wants to jump the counter and skin me alive. He has no more refills, and his doctor is out of town for the week. FML

#17633447
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (1886)

On 09/01/2011 at 2:22am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally lost my virginity. In my boyfriend's racecar bed. FML

#17534409
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30399) - you deserved it (39630)

On 08/21/2011 at 12:54am - intimacy - by Emily - United States (New York)

Today, my boss called me into his office and bitched me out for a good half hour for my attitude to our customers. Apparently I always look pissed off and sound sarcastic. That's just my face at rest. FML

#17530831
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23651) - you deserved it (4958)

On 08/20/2011 at 5:36pm - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I walked outside my house to find my father in nothing but his underwear, spraying ants with ant-killer, laughing like a maniac and screaming, "Die bitches! Die!" FML

#17447180
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (4305)

On 08/12/2011 at 2:17am - misc - by TuteSweet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while stuck in traffic on the highway, my 5 year old in the back seat asked me why the man in the car next to us was pulling on the other man's "peepee". FML

#17361677
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45796) - you deserved it (2943)

On 08/04/2011 at 12:04am - intimacy - by whatnot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

#17355150
297 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26588) - you deserved it (7858)

On 08/03/2011 at 12:55pm - health - by indierocklove - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML

#17326829
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29770) - you deserved it (5385)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML

#17283152
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30144) - you deserved it (15583)

On 07/28/2011 at 1:39am - kids - by anonymous - United States (New Jersey)



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: