About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.
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Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 08/25/2012 at 8:47am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML
by diggingaplotforone / 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I discovered how pathetically introverted I am when during a car ride with my family, I said, "I really like this song" and my parents gasped because they didn't realize I was in the back seat. And I'm their only child. FML
by mississippi123 / 08/06/2012 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was teaching my daughter how to ride a bike with no training wheels. After comforting her and assuring her that she'd be fine, I gave her a big push. She fell forward over the handlebars and scraped her chin on the front wheel. FML
by me / 08/04/2012 at 3:14pm / Canada (Nova Scotia) / Kids
by llaurenmariee / 08/04/2012 at 7:35am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, one of the human turds that I stupidly added on Facebook posted how terrible her life is after her dad refused to arrange yet another holiday for her this year, so I bitched her out for being such a spoiled little brat. A few hours later, her boyfriend came over and beat the shit out of me. FML
by Anonymous / 08/01/2012 at 4:59pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Health
by soph511 / 07/30/2012 at 2:05pm / France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur) / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/05/2012 at 3:10pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by MeanMother / 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by Anonymous / 06/20/2012 at 7:08pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/12/2012 at 7:58am / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/24/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I started my job as one of those sign spinners. About an hour later, some people drove up, yelled, "Bitch, get off my corner," and threw water balloons at me. My boss made me keep working in the soaking wet outfit. FML
by poseidon5213 / 05/17/2012 at 6:02pm / United States (California) / Work
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm / Sweden (Stockholms Lan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
- Today, I came to the realization that I dream more about my vibrator than I do about my boyfriend.… Today, I told my husband it would be great to spend an evening with a bottle of wine and a pile of… Today, my mom came into my bedroom and told me to listen to this voicemail. I listened to me and my…