About blacksswan : .Got my life planned.
.In the process of becoming a pharmacy technician (2 weeks left).
.Huge animal lover.
About blacksswan : .Got my life planned.
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blacksswan's favorite FMLs
Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML
by Anonymous / 11/29/2011 at 11:15am / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was walking to the kitchen in the dark. Something caught my eye and I turned to see a man standing in the corner, clear as day. I jumped and closed my eyes for a split second. When I opened them, he was nowhere to be seen. I'm now terrified to live in my own home. FML
by haunted / 11/24/2011 at 3:30pm / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/16/2011 at 9:24pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation
by ledon / 11/15/2011 at 11:15pm / Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML
by yuck / 11/15/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Animals
Today, I and a policeman confronted my psychotic neighbor who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
by Stalked / 11/14/2011 at 7:46pm / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was invited to a party to celebrate my ex-fiancée's recent engagement. The party is at work, because my ex is also my boss. Her new fiancée is some guy she met while on a "business trip" that happened while we were still engaged. FML
by lebowski101 / 11/02/2011 at 9:45pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love
Today, I was giving a PowerPoint presentation in class. When I put my flash drive into the computer, my folder opened up and a nude picture of myself popped right up on a 110 inch projector screen for all 35 students to see. This is a 16 week course. FML
by jaymash / 10/22/2011 at 9:25am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
by skitzobiatch69 / 09/13/2011 at 1:07pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Transportation
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
by CaseyFpC85 / 09/11/2011 at 11:13am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by bTOhno / 08/13/2011 at 2:37am / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, trying to make a good impression and be helpful, I volunteered to look after my manager's cat while she moves house. The cat hasn't stopped meowing since he got here this evening, it's now 4 am and I have work in the morning. FML
by leahneedssleep / 07/11/2011 at 6:53am / Canada (British Columbia) / Animals
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
by worstfatherever / 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Animals
Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to videotape his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML
by WasteOMoney / 07/03/2011 at 9:50pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by FMarinasL / 06/30/2011 at 7:43pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
- Today, I had to tell a girl I liked she couldn't sleep over because I live with my parents. I'm 24.… Today, I had a mini heart attack as my dad stopped in the middle of the street and said, "I wonder… Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever…