blacksswan

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blacksswan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 20 April 1991 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1016
  • Number of comments : 230
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

About blacksswan : .Got my life planned.
.In the process of becoming a pharmacy technician (2 weeks left).
.Huge animal lover.
.Love music.

blacksswan's page activity

Visits<b>xXxGraveStonexXx</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 6:00am<b>maxthebigseal</b> - the 07/22/2016 at 9:04pm<b>SamMelody</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:14pm<b>venomXVII</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 12:39pm<b>justdanceforever</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Psychospartan</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 12:48pm<b>Participation</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 12:55pm<b>tchatfield9413</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 1:26pm<b>soemei</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 4:21am<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/12/2014 at 7:35pm<b>fantasyworld</b> - the 11/01/2014 at 7:04pm<b>pyrp9998</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 10:00am<b>charify</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 12:29am<b>fluffee123</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:50am<b>xDochx</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 1:27am<b>turtles4life</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 2:24pm<b>reneetlovesyou</b> - the 12/31/2013 at 3:13pm<b>JustinMrBest91</b> - the 12/27/2013 at 12:40am

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blacksswan's favorite FMLs

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

by Anonymous / 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

Today, I was playing with my vibrator. I was getting close when all of a sudden it short-circuited and made a sound like a laughing clown, scaring me half to death. FML

by Geckosrock99 / 08/30/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

by Kat / 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy

Today, while traveling with my cat, I had a mini-freakout when I realized that I left his favorite toy in the hotel room. I'm a 30-year-old man. FML

by speshlk37 / 08/19/2012 at 10:19pm / United States / Animals

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

by Anonymous / 08/18/2012 at 5:48pm / Japan / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to allow the cats to sleep with us on the bed. As we started to cuddle, one of the cats pissed right in between us. We are sleeping on the couch until the baking soda absorbs the smell in the mattress. I'll be sleeping there longer than that. FML

by couchsurfer / 08/09/2012 at 8:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irritated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father. FML

by BunniesOnAcid / 07/03/2012 at 7:01pm / United States (Tennessee) / Miscellaneous

Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML

by Anonymous / 02/01/2012 at 1:13am / Canada / Animals

Today, I realized the closest thing I've had to an intimate relationship with a female is the one I have with my cat. Even then, she ignores me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/29/2012 at 2:55pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

by hopeless cluts / 01/29/2012 at 2:36am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML

by geeklove / 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I texted my boyfriend on the way to the hospital to tell him I needed stitches, after my brother's dog bit me on the breast. His response? "Pics or it didn't happen." FML

by OH COME ON / 12/29/2011 at 10:48am / United States (New York) / Health

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

by anonymous / 12/28/2011 at 3:14am / United States (Oregon) / Kids

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

by Anonymoose / 12/25/2011 at 6:39am / Switzerland (Zurich) / Animals

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm / United States / Love