Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blackonblight

Offline (20 hours ago) | Search for a member

blackonblight

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 533
  • Number of comments : 689
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About blackonblight : Not much to say, diagnosed Aspergers Syndrome, depression, anxiety, social phobia, I'm a walking stereotype of the crazy girl who always has a book, almost never talks, and spends the day locked in her room with her cats.

Also cluster headaches.

Apparently evolution really doesn't want me reproducing.

That's fine, I'm asexual. Aromantic too. Still got the capacity for aesthetic appreciation, and I do melt over certain voices. I just have no desire to press my squishy bits against another's, nor do I feel like I need a significant other to be complete. I understand that it appeals to others, and that is fine. It is not for me.

blackonblight's page activity

Visits<b>ElleyLean</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 5:05pm<b>Bentonic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:49pm<b>geekchick88</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:01am<b>Mortoli</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 1:53am<b>wilburhp</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 8:16am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 8:25pm<b>Mandybruin</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 4:13pm<b>NiceGuysDoWin</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 11:47am<b>FallenBaphomet</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 10:31am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/17/2014 at 4:40am<b>harrypotter322</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 11:27pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 08/16/2014 at 1:30am<b>inner_peace</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 9:36pm<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:20pm<b>katydid91</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 5:08pm<b>Ghosty546</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 4:53pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 1:49pm<b>WizardlyUnicorn</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 12:47pm

blackonblight's FML badges

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of blackonblight's badges

blackonblight's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML

#21243022
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40339) - you deserved it (4642)

On 08/22/2014 at 8:05am - work - by haileelouxxx (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, some alarm, somewhere in my house, is making a low battery noise. I've checked every smoke detector multiple times, and I can't find it. It has been hours. I'm not sure if its still doing it or if the sound has just invaded my brain. FML

Today, my ex-girlfriend proposed to me, at my wedding. FML

#21158075
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53888) - you deserved it (7364)

On 05/31/2014 at 9:40am - love - by damn it rose (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I found out the reason our toilet paper has been disappearing so fast recently isn't because my son is wanking like a gibbon as I first thought. He's just been using our shredder to make streamers out of the stuff, then hiding it all in a box in his closet. Fucking hell, son. FML

#21128713
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36160) - you deserved it (3972)

On 05/02/2014 at 10:04am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my mother-in-law called me every 2 hours, starting at 8pm and stopping at 10am the following morning. She says that since my wife and I are expecting our first child, I should "get used to waking up at all hours." She calls my work phone, which I'm not allowed to switch off. FML

Today, I puked up an anti-nausea pill. FML

#21026645
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49092) - you deserved it (4439)

On 01/13/2014 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42100) - you deserved it (7881)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

#20940283
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41760) - you deserved it (8765)

On 10/31/2013 at 2:27pm - kids - by anna (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45075) - you deserved it (4770)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31502) - you deserved it (10609)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hitting on a girl, and I was sure I could get her to sleep with me. When she finally gave in and was putting her number into my phone, she called my mom and asked her if she raised me to "sexually harass women." FML

#20918730
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21586) - you deserved it (81354)

On 10/13/2013 at 10:38am - love - by not getting laid - United States (Texas)

Today, a pregnant woman got on the bus. There were no free seats, so I stood up to give her mine. An obese man pushed past her, waddled over, and oozed into my seat. I said it was for the pregnant lady. He called me a "sexist bitch" and claimed he needed it more. FML

#20478664
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43002) - you deserved it (2368)

On 01/25/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by protoplasm stole my seat (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, I somehow managed to hit my head on a first aid kit. I now have a cut on my forehead and my boyfriend just keeps laughing from the irony. FML

#19490563
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19209) - you deserved it (3592)

On 04/18/2012 at 4:18pm - health - by 352 - United States

Today, I cut my finger open with a spoon. After waiting for 4 hours in the emergency room, the doctor told me I was missing too much flesh to qualify for stitches. He then called 2 other doctors in to examine it. Apparently they had a contest for patient with most ridiculous injury. I won. FML

#6036159
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33266) - you deserved it (7108)

On 10/28/2009 at 4:03am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: