About blackheart24 : I'm an electric guitarist in a rock band, a singer/songwriter, and a badass at basketball. I am a certified grease monkey (also known as a mechanic), and me and my band do gigs for a lil extra cash. I dig the music scene, but I ain't all emo and shit, and I am actually a pretty smart dude. I am a huge fan of Joan Jett and the Blackhearts and lots of 80's hairbands like Poison, Bon Jovi and Motley Crüe, and I hate those sparkling Twilight fags and Justin Beiber. Message me if you wanna know more, but I do use the app a lot so I may not get it for a while.
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blackheart24's favorite FMLs
Today, my parents staged a family intervention and gave me the grandest bollocking I've ever experienced in all my 22 years of life. They did this because my sister showed them a photo of me jokingly posing with three bottles of Bud Light at a party. Apparently, I'm an alcoholic in denial. FML
by wtf / 10/24/2011 at 6:46pm / United Kingdom (York) / Miscellaneous
by canucks_chick / 10/23/2011 at 1:45am / Canada / Intimacy
Today, I ran into an old friend. I asked her how she was doing, then asked, "And your mum?" Just as the words escaped my lips, I remembered her mum died a few years ago. Trying to save face, I messed up again and blurted, "She still in the same graveyard?" FML
by Virginiedetibo / 10/21/2011 at 10:09pm / France / Miscellaneous
Today, I ate a bowl of my girlfriend's homemade chili. She went a little heavy on the spices, but I ate it anyway. An hour later, I can now say that if it burns going in, it will explode coming out your rear. FML
by DMStarsky / 10/21/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (Texas) / Health
by Habit / 10/19/2011 at 6:42pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Work
Today, in science, we were studying reproduction. Our teacher was reading out the notes and claimed that 'the female's penis stiffens to enter the male's vagina.' I'm supposed to be learning stuff from this woman. FML
by girlshavepenises / 06/28/2011 at 2:39am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
Today, there was a parents bike race on the track at my high school for a fundraiser. My dad entered, and ended up winning. He did his victory dance with a massive erection showing through his spandex. Just about all of my friends, teachers, other parents, and the hot soccer team saw. FML
by biker2012 / 06/01/2009 at 3:13pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy
Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML
by ohn0es / 01/23/2009 at 5:45am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Instead of moaning like any normal person, he… Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing… Today, my girlfriend's parents walked in on us having sex. Not only did her dad make me walk out to…