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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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blackfire

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blackfire
  • Town/Country : Los Angeles
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2488
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

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blackfire's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML

#6192797 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (10593)

On 11/07/2009 at 5:22am - misc - by badwife (woman) - Japan

Today, I was walking on a busy street. I saw this beautiful blonde walking across the street and a car was coming. I wanted to be like in the movies where the guy pushes the girl out of the way so she doesn't get hit. I accidentally pushed her the wrong way. Right into the car. FML

#5107087 (192)

I agree, your life sucks (8695) - you deserved it (52417)

On 09/07/2009 at 3:21pm - misc - by ilovefootball (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

#4976961 (408)

I agree, your life sucks (8405) - you deserved it (212704)

On 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm - work - by Hairball (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, someone broke my car's left side mirror. A friend of mine was buying a replacement one and texted me to confirm which one I needed. He asked: "It's the driver's side, right?" To which I replied: "Right". I got the wrong mirror. FML

#4975580 (136)

I agree, your life sucks (9292) - you deserved it (30316)

On 09/01/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me by sending me a Bumper Sticker on Facebook that said "Bitch, let's get married". FML

#4928502 (231)

I agree, your life sucks (46379) - you deserved it (5517)

On 08/30/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by mylifesucks (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I thought it would have been funny to cut off my friend's rat-tail. He thought it would be funny to put a brick through my windshield. FML

#4832941 (278)

I agree, your life sucks (10160) - you deserved it (76162)

On 08/26/2009 at 9:34am - misc - by alieyoubelieve (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was sneaking over to my girlfriend's house. I sent her mother a text message thinking it was my girlfriend saying "There's a stalker coming in to make you his play mate ;]" Unfortunately when I got to her window I was greeted by her dad with a bat. FML

#4454035 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (6523) - you deserved it (47383)

On 08/11/2009 at 4:30pm - love - by Ohfman117 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (56767) - you deserved it (2875)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I slept together. In the middle of the night, he saw my phone receiving a text from someone saying "Hey baby, I missed you so much! I'm going to be visiting in a couple of days, hope to see you again, I love you!". He got mad and left my house. It was my dad from Ohio. FML

#3904577 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (3030)

On 07/20/2009 at 12:03pm - love - by fmlfmlfml (woman) - United States

Today, during some previews before the new Harry Potter movie, a random guy stood up and led the audience in an enthusiastic and rather successful chant "H-A-R-R-Y!". Minutes later when I attempted to do the same thing, I was pelted with half-full bags of popcorn, freezing sodas, and booing. FML

#3897679 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (56980)

On 07/20/2009 at 1:54am - misc - by Chelsea (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out that just because your boyfriend asks you to marry him doesn't mean that he will show up at the wedding. FML

#3890041 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (132481) - you deserved it (5918)

On 07/19/2009 at 9:06pm - love - by Loveless (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221 (184)

I agree, your life sucks (6905) - you deserved it (52497)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to go through the embarrassment and pain of telling my parents I was pregnant. I took the test and it came out positive and I was freaking out. I got grounded for the rest of the year and they're really disappointed in me. Five minutes ago, I got my period. FML

#3676962 (365)

I agree, your life sucks (43596) - you deserved it (19124)

On 07/11/2009 at 9:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up from a nap to hear my roommate having some intimate time with his hand. The slopping and slurping sounds along with the girly man squeal as he finished haunted me all day. FML

#3646272 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (50868) - you deserved it (2833)

On 07/10/2009 at 5:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Iraq (Arbil)

Today, I caught my little brother peeping at my friend getting dressed in the bathroom. When I asked him what he was doing he said "I'm just doing what Ray does to you while you're in the bathroom." Ray is my new step dad. FML

#3563535 (293)

I agree, your life sucks (93169) - you deserved it (2591)

On 07/07/2009 at 8:36pm - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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