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blackbeltpsycho

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blackbeltpsycho

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 5 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 290
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blackbeltpsycho : I'm a second degree black belt and a karate instructor

blackbeltpsycho's page activity

Visits<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:36am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:58am<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:15am<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:04am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:03pm<b>RnoNative78</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:56am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:40am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:17am<b>HAMY</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:16pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:19pm<b>ea247</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:18am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:19am<b>fifil</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:52am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:25pm<b>buckeye_state</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:13pm<b>emirie</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:23pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:23pm

blackbeltpsycho's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of blackbeltpsycho's badges

blackbeltpsycho's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40691) - you deserved it (5042)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22544) - you deserved it (33232)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (5546)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34577) - you deserved it (4390)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40988) - you deserved it (4327)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37202) - you deserved it (8337)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16014) - you deserved it (36359)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took my girlfriend home to meet my parents. My dad was having a bad day and was rude from the outset, but things went to total hell when he started screaming that he'd "kill" our microwave if it didn't "shut the hell up". My girlfriend now thinks we're a family of abusive psychos. FML

#20887758
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37668) - you deserved it (2849)

On 09/19/2013 at 1:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was uninvited to a bachelorette party. I wouldn't really care, if the party hadn't been for me, ahead of my wedding tomorrow. FML

#20885218
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44399) - you deserved it (3479)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:52pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find that my house had been broken into. After assessing the loss, I saw a taunting note on the fridge saying, "Locks work best when the door's SHUT." My housekeeper had apparently left the door wide open. FML

#20885188
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43356) - you deserved it (3584)

On 09/17/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I was lying naked on my boyfriend's bed for the first time ever. He glanced at me, then started playing with a Rubik's cube. FML

#20885155
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51202) - you deserved it (6188)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:38pm - intimacy - by someone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40458) - you deserved it (2480)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36730) - you deserved it (2486)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my birth mother. My dad won't talk to me, my mom won't stop crying and thinks I'm replacing her, and the rest of my family won't stop calling me a bitch. I'm 21, and I just wanted to meet the woman who pushed me head-first out of her vagina. FML

Today, I called work crying, telling them that I wouldn't be able to go to work tomorrow due to my grandmother's sudden and tragic death. After hanging up, I walked into the midnight release of Grand Theft Auto 5. I had no idea my boss was also an avid gamer. FML

#20884742
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (88799)

On 09/17/2013 at 12:36am - work - by fired (man) - United States (Georgia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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