Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blackbeltpsycho

Offline (the 12/12/2014 at 5:02am) | Search for a member

blackbeltpsycho

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 6 October 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 418
  • Number of comments : 25
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About blackbeltpsycho : 2nd degree black belt and a karate instructor. If you want to know more about me, just send a message!

blackbeltpsycho's page activity

Visits<b>Im_a_Believer</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 4:25pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 11:36am<b>xxrogerthatxx</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 10:58am<b>QueenaSng</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:15am<b>abdiG</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 6:04am<b>jack_jill05</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:03pm<b>RnoNative78</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:56am<b>Tbear11</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:40am<b>Larissa24</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 5:17am<b>HAMY</b> - the 06/25/2014 at 11:16pm<b>atl904</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 10:19pm<b>ea247</b> - the 04/06/2014 at 1:18am<b>Much2Much4U</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:19am<b>fifil</b> - the 03/15/2014 at 2:52am<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 11:25pm<b>buckeye_state</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 10:13pm<b>emirie</b> - the 11/15/2013 at 4:23pm<b>SierraaaNicoleee</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 5:23pm

blackbeltpsycho's FML badges

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of blackbeltpsycho's badges

blackbeltpsycho's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33008) - you deserved it (6294)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got on one knee in front of my girlfriend. I pulled out the ring, uttered the words "Lisa, will you..." then abruptly shat my pants. FML

#21271177
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (5136)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:47am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was flipping out because I couldn't find my wallet, and after several hours of cussing myself out, I went downstairs to make breakfast. I poured cereal into my bowl and my wallet flopped out with the Honey Nut Cheerios. I need to stop drinking. FML

#21267969
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22642) - you deserved it (33333)

On 09/29/2014 at 10:13pm - misc - by KasSmoke - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (5632)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34650) - you deserved it (4393)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, a guy asked me out, and I felt butterflies in my stomach. I soon realized that it wasn't butterflies, but an unexpected bowel movement. I stood there awkwardly, looking him in the eyes, then farted hard. FML

#21260355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41266) - you deserved it (4340)

On 09/17/2014 at 11:14pm - love - by HappilyNeverAfter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in college, we were asked at what age girls tend to become physically attractive. Wrongly thinking the answer was in relation to puberty, I said "Umm... 11 or 12?" Now everyone thinks I'm some kind of pedophile. FML

#21259479
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38068) - you deserved it (8613)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it was my first day closing alone at a pet store when a lady came in wanting to return a bird she bought months ago. Once I informed her there were no returns on livestock, she let the bird free and ran out the door, leaving me to catch it and explain to my manager where it came from. FML

#20885115
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40514) - you deserved it (2483)

On 09/17/2013 at 11:44am - work - by tay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to explain to my grandfather that Canadians aren't evil by reminding him that he's Canadian. FML

#20885056
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36786) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/17/2013 at 10:21am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

#20883807
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45681) - you deserved it (8378)

On 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by meganmagee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son asked me if slavery was ever abolished. He's 19. FML

#20883742
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41762) - you deserved it (6712)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:42pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mum got engaged to her American pen-pal, who is in prison over there for murder. FML

Today, I walked in the bathroom to find my son cleaning his penis. It wouldn't have been so bad if he wasn't cleaning it with a toothbrush. FML

#20883448
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42147) - you deserved it (3850)

On 09/16/2013 at 3:51am - kids - by clean - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a lady stormed into the pharmacy I work at and chewed me out because the medicine I sold her the day before gave her horrible diarrhea as a "side effect". I checked, and it was the medicine she asked for - laxatives. FML

#20883379
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45521) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/16/2013 at 1:35am - health - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my doctor asked me to undo my bra so he could check my breathing without the straps restricting my lungs, I got home and told my friends how awkward it was. Not one of them has had this happen to them before. We all go to the same doctor. FML

#20883308
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52441) - you deserved it (4800)

On 09/16/2013 at 12:35am - health - by chestycough - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: