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black_parade

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black_parade

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 230
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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black_parade's page activity

Visits<b>Matilda19</b> - the 02/21/2014 at 5:15am<b>tunti</b> - the 02/19/2014 at 2:07pm<b>Rcmpbell</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 3:20pm<b>chrisseesyou</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:15am<b>NarutoLove</b> - the 02/18/2014 at 12:03am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 10:58pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/06/2014 at 12:45am

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black_parade's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a buffet with my kids and husband. As my boys got up to get more food, I told them they'd better come back with something green on their plate. They both came back with mint ice cream and got a high-five from my husband. FML

#21154562
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46321) - you deserved it (27729)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:28pm - kids - by outsmartedbykids (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I got called "un-American" when I said I didn't care about Kim and Kayne's wedding. FML

#21154136
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61605) - you deserved it (5420)

On 05/28/2014 at 12:13am - misc - by Yeppets - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out my neighbor collects body-bags. FML

#21139874
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39738) - you deserved it (3516)

On 05/14/2014 at 5:46pm - misc - by chellegbelle - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend admitted to my best friend that she basically just sees me as a dildo with annoying emotions. FML

#21138864
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51151) - you deserved it (6935)

On 05/13/2014 at 5:31pm - love - by taintedlover (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, a bird got into the walls of my house through a hole. I located where it was by following the chirping and scratching sounds, and drilled a hole to get it out. I pulled out the drill, only to find the drill bit bloody. Suddenly, no more chirps. FML

#21131587
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48583) - you deserved it (16251)

On 05/05/2014 at 5:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I took my girlfriend out for lunch, and I asked her if I could have a bite of her meal. She took it to mean I was calling her fat, and stormed out. FML

#21125215
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41760) - you deserved it (4809)

On 04/28/2014 at 11:38am - love - by salad - United States (South Carolina)

Today, at work, I served a group of three teens. Their tab was $75 and they tipped me nothing. They wrote a thank you on a piece of receipt paper, put it in a glass of water and used a coaster to turn the glass of water upside down on the table, spilling water everywhere. They also stole my pen. FML

#21125158
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49617) - you deserved it (3979)

On 04/28/2014 at 9:35am - work - by brerj09 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I met a cute guy, and everything went great. After a while, he asked me for my number and I gave it to him. Now he won't stop texting me, asking for pictures of my toes. FML

Today, I was at the sandwich shop I work in. A customer came in and requested an assorted sub. As I finished putting on the sauces, I looked up to see the customer's face set in horror. Apparently I didn't notice that I licked my fingers clean after getting some mayonnaise on them. FML

Today, my professor ran half a mile in the pouring rain just to return my cell phone, which I had left behind in lecture. Shocked and embarrassed, I exclaimed, "You shouldn't have!" "Damn right," he responded, "I'm 64 years old." FML

#21113974
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38221) - you deserved it (11410)

On 04/15/2014 at 7:18pm - work - by sad but true. - United States (Connecticut)

Today, 30 minutes after finishing a great date with a great girl, she texted me and said, "Yeah, uh, never come near me again." FML

#21112056
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42209) - you deserved it (5533)

On 04/13/2014 at 4:33pm - love - by lax22 - United States (California)

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

#21106752
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19607) - you deserved it (43686)

On 04/07/2014 at 1:02pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I dislocated my shoulder. My doctor failed to fix it, but did succeed in practically dislocating the other one. FML

#21099597
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36875) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/29/2014 at 7:06pm - health - by unlucky - United States (Florida)

Today, I was randomly selected for a pat-down while at the airport. Being from the south, I said thanks out of pure habit. The guy replied, "No sir, thank YOU." and winked. FML

#21098671
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37008) - you deserved it (4729)

On 03/28/2014 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking and saw a quarter. I bent down to pick it up. Barely a foot ahead there was another, so I crawled over to get it. This continued for about six feet when I realize a kid was laying them out in a trail. I had collected 7 fake quarters and the kid had it on video. FML

#21087786
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40471) - you deserved it (19446)

On 03/15/2014 at 11:46pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)



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