Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bl182gdnimrod

Search for a member

bl182gdnimrod

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 274
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bl182gdnimrod : I love Green Day! And all punk music. I'm sexually attracted to BIllie Joe Armstrong. Judge me. My names Sami (or Bam) and I'm SUPER weird. I love my boyfriend BJ (his name is Brandon) more than anything!!! Well, bananas smell good, and that's all, folks!

bl182gdnimrod's FML badges

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

bl182gdnimrod's favorite FMLs

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

#19414574
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26518) - you deserved it (4284)

On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22288) - you deserved it (3855)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20247) - you deserved it (11731)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36255) - you deserved it (2990)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

#19399290
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18350) - you deserved it (4105)

On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

#19394272
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20665) - you deserved it (2106)

On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

#19391637
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37955) - you deserved it (2866)

On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

#18662778
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15180) - you deserved it (27565)

On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

#18660623
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24828) - you deserved it (5393)

On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

#18657725
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22522) - you deserved it (2562)

On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (3847)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23227) - you deserved it (2839)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

#18649240
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23053) - you deserved it (4146)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

#18648133
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9291) - you deserved it (37704)

On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: