bl182gdnimrod

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bl182gdnimrod

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 17 February 1996 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 592
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About bl182gdnimrod : I love Green Day! And all punk music. I'm sexually attracted to BIllie Joe Armstrong. Judge me. My names Sami (or Bam) and I'm SUPER weird. I love my boyfriend BJ (his name is Brandon) more than anything!!! Well, bananas smell good, and that's all, folks!

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50 favourites

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bl182gdnimrod's favorite FMLs

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

by Krissy / 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

by tessamarque / 04/05/2012 at 11:07am / United States (Oklahoma) / Animals

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

by Nadaz / 04/05/2012 at 7:29am / United States (North Carolina) / Geek

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

by displeased / 04/05/2012 at 2:47am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML

by lizann / 04/03/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML

by Kilimanjaro / 04/03/2012 at 12:41am / France / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML

by Deadman / 04/02/2012 at 9:37am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

by ohgod... / 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML

by atleese / 12/31/2011 at 10:37am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML

by YOURMOM / 12/31/2011 at 2:24am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML

by axel519 / 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

by wellthatsawkward / 12/30/2011 at 1:35am / United States (Utah) / Love

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

by Ashton Sprunger / 12/30/2011 at 12:38am / United States / Work

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

by hdkgdkvdjd / 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML

by Anonymous / 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm / China / Miscellaneous