About bl182gdnimrod : I love Green Day! And all punk music. I'm sexually attracted to BIllie Joe Armstrong. Judge me. My names Sami (or Bam) and I'm SUPER weird. I love my boyfriend BJ (his name is Brandon) more than anything!!! Well, bananas smell good, and that's all, folks!
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50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, during sex, my boyfriend stops and asks if he can eat a sandwich while we do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20088) - you deserved it (3025)
On 04/05/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States
Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17820) - you deserved it (3333)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15401) - you deserved it (8548)
On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28327) - you deserved it (2015)
On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)
Today, for the second time this week, I had to ask my 27-year-old husband to stop peeing on the toilet seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13897) - you deserved it (3005)
On 04/03/2012 at 1:39am - misc - by lizann - United States (Arizona)
Today, the war against the pigeons on my veranda reached a new level. To try and get them to clear off, I gave my window pane a short, sharp knock. It broke into several shards, and not one of the totally oblivious birds moved. Pigeons 1, Me 0. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13958) - you deserved it (3532) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/03/2012 at 12:41am - misc - by Kilimanjaro (woman) - France
Today, my dad came home drunk at four in the morning. He walked into my room, screaming at me to wake up so he can kill zombies. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16319) - you deserved it (1788)
On 04/02/2012 at 9:37am - misc - by Deadman (man) - United States
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30238) - you deserved it (1932)
On 04/01/2012 at 10:18pm - intimacy - by ohgod... - Canada (Quebec)
Today, I was having 'goodbye' sex with my boyfriend. Now for the next four months he's going to remember our last time as the one where I farted and couldn't stop laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12003) - you deserved it (23096)
On 12/31/2011 at 10:37am - intimacy - by atleese - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was at the park feeding nuts to some squirrels. One fell down my shirt and the next thing I know I'm being attacked by a squirrel that looked like it was on steroids. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20361) - you deserved it (4906)
On 12/31/2011 at 2:24am - animals - by YOURMOM - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend decided to raid my games collection and try her hand at Amnesia: The Dark Descent. Two hours later, despite my best attempts to make her stop shrieking like a dying crackhead every two minutes, two cops showed up at the door with our neighbors in tow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (1908)
On 12/30/2011 at 9:43pm - misc - by axel519 (man) - United States
Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21658) - you deserved it (2929)
On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (2093)
On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States
Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18187) - you deserved it (3153)
On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)
Today, I left work early, and discovered I was locked out of my house. I subsequently had to use a spoon I found on the ground to smash the bathroom window. I cut my leg on the glass when I climbed through. While inspecting the wound, I felt a lump in my pocket. It was my house key. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7699) - you deserved it (26937)
On 12/29/2011 at 10:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - China
Friday 24 May 2013
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