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bkingkingking

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bkingkingking
  • Town/Country : Farnborough, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1153
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, while on an escalator, instead of just telling me my underwear label was hanging out of my jeans, a woman behind me decided to tuck the label in herself. You should never have to feel a stranger's finger on your butt crack. FML

#20666690
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49286) - you deserved it (4782)

On 05/16/2013 at 6:24am - misc - by violatedbuttcrack - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

#20664547
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42113) - you deserved it (9279)

On 05/15/2013 at 3:20am - misc - by notarobber (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the doctor's office waiting for my husband to arrive, when a little old lady sat beside me. She seemed nice, until she started farting and blaming it on me. They weren't silent; they sounded like trucker farts and smelled like death. I was there for over an hour. FML

#20647820
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44815) - you deserved it (4065)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:07pm - misc - by babs (woman) - United States

Today, my parents finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41365) - you deserved it (3125)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was tutoring a band member. Whenever I ask him to play a D or any D scale, he stops just to snicker and say, "Ha ha. D." He still sucks. I hate his guts. FML

#20620228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33523) - you deserved it (4588)

On 04/25/2013 at 3:55am - work - by justgivemethed - United States (California)

Today, I shaved my pubic area for my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's beard with Gimli's ax." FML

Today, a couple stopped me on the beach to take a picture of them kissing in front of the sunset. I agreed feeling generous, until they continued making out after the picture was taken, leaving me standing there awkwardly with their camera. FML

#20578428
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39143) - you deserved it (3425)

On 04/07/2013 at 12:26am - love - by unknown - United States (Florida)

Today, while shopping for a birthday present for my size 0 friend, I picked out a pair of pants for her. When paying, the cashier looked me up and down and said, "Well, you're pretty optimistic aren't you?" FML

#20574572
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44045) - you deserved it (3656)

On 04/04/2013 at 11:12am - misc - by NotASize0 (woman) - Denmark

Today, my little sister figured out how to use the printer. I came home to pictures of Nicolas Cage all over my room. FML

#20571278
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (4982)

On 04/02/2013 at 5:22am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36802) - you deserved it (3951)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, it was raining heavily so I wore my black poncho as I walked to work. On the way there I noticed an old and seemingly homeless man following me. I turned around to confront him. He picked up a stick and screamed "Expecto Patronum!" Apparently I look like a dementor. FML

#20558527
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27277) - you deserved it (5312)

On 03/24/2013 at 8:23pm - misc - by Anna L. - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho abstinence-only sex ed teacher claimed condoms give 50% protection at most against pregnancy. I couldn't help but correct her. She apologized for her "mistake", saying, "It's just that we're not ALL sluts, Kara." Now everyone thinks I'm a raging whore. FML

#20555528
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35492) - you deserved it (5266)

On 03/22/2013 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, a pregnant friend who is due in 2 weeks posted a picture of a baby on Facebook. I commented congratulations. She's still pregnant. It was a picture of her baby who died 3 years ago. FML

#20553352
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47223) - you deserved it (10892)

On 03/21/2013 at 5:42am - kids - by seamonkeys - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35471) - you deserved it (2893)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I met the man of my dreams. We saw a movie, then went to a bar. It went perfectly, until he got wasted and started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed. Then I woke up, having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious. FML

#20540752
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32161) - you deserved it (4890)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)



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