bkingkingking

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bkingkingking

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5557
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

bkingkingking's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:59pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:39am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>little_red_hood</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>AcousticKid1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:25am<b>binbin05</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:11am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Brownie3737</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:21pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:24am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:14am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:42am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>easternbmx0</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:47am<b>rob02</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:59am

bkingkingking's FML badges

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You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, while interviewing for a job I had to read over the physical requirements for the job. Later on she asked me how flexible I was. Trying to keep a straight face, I told her I was more flexible while I was playing sports but could work on it if I need to. She was talking about work hours. FML

by bigblue51 / 05/22/2009 at 8:09am / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I woke up to a hand rubbing my very erect penis, and a woman's peppermint breath in my ear. "Mom?" I called out instinctively, recalling how she always smells like peppermint. The hand stopped rubbing, and I turned to face my very disgusted looking girlfriend of three years. FML

by Ohshit / 05/17/2009 at 2:42am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was eating at Applebees at a high table with bar stools. I was reaching over to get some gum out of mom's purse when my chair flipped out from under me and my soda fell on top of me and got in my ear. To make things worse, the waiter ran over and shouted "I give that one a 10!" FML

by kate / 04/28/2009 at 9:39pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got pulled over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and pounded on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

by bdutton / 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Transportation

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was home by myself. I was singing "If I Had A Million Dollars" really loudly since I figured no one could hear me. As I'm really into the song, my neighbor shouts, "If I had a million dollars, I'd give it to you to stop singing" and slams his balcony door shut. FML

by NotAmericanIdol / 04/23/2009 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had an interview for a job in a professor's lab. He seemed like a really nice, grandfatherly old guy. We got up to go take a look around the lab, and he held out his arms really wide to me... so I went in for a hug. Turns out he was just gesturing for me to go through the door first. FML

by Kylene / 04/23/2009 at 3:51pm / United States (Georgia) / Work

Today, I was giving a presentation to a group of high school kids about how being 'cool' wasn't as important as they might think. When I was done I asked for questions. A kid says, "Miss, I get that you're not into being cool, but you're wearing your pants inside out.' He was right. FML

by indi1011 / 04/20/2009 at 8:21am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating some left over Easter peanut MandMs at work, when I exclaimed "oh cool, they have E's on them for Easter". It took me a couple of minutes, but I eventually realized that I was looking at a regular MandM sideways. Definitely explains my coworkers' uncontrollable laughter. FML

by StewPit / 04/16/2009 at 3:44pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with this girl I met online. The conversation drifted and we were talking about how we'd prefer to die, if we had a choice. I said, "I want to skydive over the ocean without a parachute." She said she wants to be made into a wallet. FML

by no_leather_of_any_kind / 04/07/2009 at 3:08am / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2009 at 1:13am / United States (Oregon) / Intimacy

Today, I met a really attractive guy outside of a club. We came back to my apartment and had sex. Afterward, we both fell asleep. I woke up and found 20 dollars on my nightstand that wasn't there before. He thought I was a prostitute, and apparently a cheap one. FML

by Chelsea / 03/28/2009 at 1:33pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my rescue squad unit responded to a 911 call from a woman who felt she was going to pass out. We knocked on her locked door a couple times with no answer. Fearing she might be unconscious, I kicked in the door. She was about to open it and only passed out from the concussion I gave her. FML

by mrWrong / 03/24/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, I got hypnotized in front of my entire school. Once I was hypnotized the guy told me that the hottest celebrity in the world was in the audience and then he told me to point out who I saw. I said I saw Mick Jagger. I'm a guy. FML

by Anonymous / 03/20/2009 at 11:10pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my best friend. We were on the beach and it was fairly crowded but we got in the water at this really secluded area. While we were swimming I looked up to see a homeless man wearing my clothes, walking away. FML

by cjj325 / 03/20/2009 at 7:35pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous