bkingkingking

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bkingkingking

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 6119
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

bkingkingking's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:59pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:39am<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>little_red_hood</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>AcousticKid1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:25am<b>binbin05</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:11am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Brownie3737</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:21pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:24am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:14am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:42am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>easternbmx0</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:47am<b>rob02</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:15pm

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:59am

bkingkingking's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, in the gym, as I bent over to pick up my weights an old man farted right in my face. The stench was appalling. To make matters worse, a girl I've fancied for ages thought it was me and reported it to the instructor. I was told to leave for 'anti-social behavior'. FML

by Anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 6:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Health

Today, I carved a pumpkin for Halloween. I thought it would be cool to carve my name, and have it shine through onto the wall behind it. I figured that if I carved my name backwards then it would show up correct on the wall. My name's Lana and now my wall says Anal. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2009 at 1:22am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I was paying for coffee and accidentally touched hands with the girl behind the counter. As I was walking home, I realised that was the closest I've been to getting laid in two years. FML

by swedishguy / 10/05/2009 at 1:22pm / Sweden (Skane Lan) / Intimacy

Today, while at a club, I walked up to a cutie who had been eyeing me all night. I asked him "Is that a phone in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?". He simply replied "It's a phone" before walking away. FML

by desperate / 09/26/2009 at 10:15am / Denmark (Staden Kobenhavn) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my dad screaming in the hallway. Thinking he was having a heart attack I ran to the hall without looking where I was going. I slipped and slid towards my dad in what turned out to be a mass quantity of diarrhea from one of my two dogs. He was screaming because he stepped in it. FML

by poopEVERYWHERE / 09/18/2009 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Animals

Today, I was at an amusement park with my kids. When we were on the Ferris wheel, I discovered my fear of heights. I hyperventilated, screamed from our seat "LET ME OUT! OH GOD LET ME OUT!!" I also began crying hysterically. They stopped the ride for me to get off. I'm a 45 year old man. FML

by pussyOUT / 09/01/2009 at 2:30am / United States / Health

Today, at work, I was putting away clothes in the Men's department, when a guy came and started shopping in the aisle in front of me. He kept staring at me non-stop. Getting fed up, I said "What are you staring at?" Turns out he was wearing his sunglasses on the back of his head. FML

by staringisrude / 08/27/2009 at 7:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Work

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

by demk / 08/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

by demk / 08/20/2009 at 10:51am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was riding up an escalator in the mall in uncomfortable high heels. While adjusting my bag I suddenly lost my balance and began flailing wildly. In desperation I hurled forward and ended up grabbing a teenage boy's buttocks and was promptly slapped by his girlfriend. FML

by grabber / 08/09/2009 at 7:43pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML

by poopshooter101 / 06/30/2009 at 7:53am / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

by thelarkscaw / 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

by Anonymous / 06/09/2009 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was walking on a path through a park by myself. I glanced at the ground and saw a shadow behind me. Thinking of an attacker, I screamed as loud as I could and began flailing my arms to ward him off. Turns out, it was a jogger. He had to stop due to his uncontrollable laughter. FML

by paranoid / 06/06/2009 at 12:43am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous