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bkingkingking

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2339
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend found out I have OCD. When I touch something with one hand I have to touch it with the other or I freak. After I brushed his face with the back of my hand he tackled me to the floor, held me down, and laughed at me while I panicked and tried to touch him with my other hand. FML

#13351667
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46070) - you deserved it (14706)

On 10/07/2010 at 2:29am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, to spice things up a bit my wife and I were having sex in our kitchen. She was up on the counter and I moved her over to get in a better position. The stove was still hot from dinner so now my wife has a burn that looks like a double rainbow on her ass. FML

#13297808
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10257) - you deserved it (32079)

On 10/03/2010 at 12:27am - intimacy - by EffinAhole - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I was leaving the office, I heard my very cute coworker behind me say "Hey gorgeous, where are you off to?" I turned around with a smile and said "About to hit up happy hour." He was on the phone with his wife. I'm calling in sick tomorrow. FML

#13274240
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24166) - you deserved it (10316)

On 10/01/2010 at 7:48am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was walking outside when I saw my best friend about 100 meters away. I began running towards her, arms flailing, screaming out a tribal battle cry. It wasn't until I was nearly on top of her that I realised it was someone else. FML

#13088642
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10295) - you deserved it (32905)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by ellinor (woman) - Sweden (Jonkopings Lan)

Today, I was working at a restaurant. This guy comes up to the counter and asks if he could have some toothpicks. I told him they were right in front of him. He said "Sorry, I'm blind." Thinking it was a joke, I laughed until he said "No, seriously." FML

#12970630
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9113) - you deserved it (32443)

On 09/08/2010 at 11:35pm - work - by imaqtb (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend of three years proposed to me. He brought me to our favorite restaurant and ordered expensive champagne. It was all very romantic, until he got on one knee and I farted out of surprise. Loudly. FML

#12837026
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38197) - you deserved it (7653)

On 08/31/2010 at 10:48am - love - by maebyf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12634) - you deserved it (26273)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

#12797830
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12634) - you deserved it (26273)

On 08/29/2010 at 12:54am - animals - by Hobbsie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. He also decided the best way to end our relationship was to kill me and our virtual child on The Sims 3 by setting us on fire. FML

#12617958
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36575) - you deserved it (6282)

On 08/19/2010 at 1:26am - love - by Single - United States (California)

Today, whilst I was working in McDonald's, a customer threw their Quarterpounder at me because it had pickles and he said he didn't want any pickles in his burger. I didn't even serve him. I'd just started my shift. FML

Today, it's the third day since my mum quit smoking, and I realised that her health-drive is having a negative effect on my own health when she bitch slapped me down the stairs because she didn't get a joke I told her. FML

#12449255
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31454) - you deserved it (3727)

On 08/11/2010 at 5:19am - health - by Thepunchline (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I was in the checkout line at Foodmax around 11:30pm. Three girls behind me were buying Tequila, salt and some limes. I was buying frozen pizza and some toilet paper. They were going to an awesome party. I was going home to eat pizza by myself. FML

#12385494
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28187) - you deserved it (7680)

On 08/08/2010 at 3:14am - misc - by joe (man) - United States (California)

Today, while getting a lump in my private region examined by a very cute nurse, I got a massive erection. The smartest thing I could think to say at the time to her was: "I haven't been touched there in a very long time." FML

#12051058
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35618) - you deserved it (15301)

On 07/22/2010 at 8:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Gloucestershire)

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

#11989675
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59506) - you deserved it (3645)

On 07/19/2010 at 8:23pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to try and seduce my boyfriend of 2 years. He was on his laptop, and while he was on it I took off my shirt and bra, and gave him a hug from behind. What I didn't know was that he was video chatting his father the whole time. FML

#11911406
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20179) - you deserved it (43216)

On 07/16/2010 at 12:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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