bkingkingking

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bkingkingking

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5267
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

bkingkingking's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:59pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:39am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:55pm<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>little_red_hood</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>AcousticKid1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:25am<b>binbin05</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:11am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Brownie3737</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:21pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:24am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:14am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:42am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>easternbmx0</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:59am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:55am

bkingkingking's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

by slut / 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while having a screaming argument with my son in our front yard, I suddenly realized we are "that white trash family" in the neighborhood. FML

by Anonymous / 08/29/2011 at 9:05am / United States (Delaware) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take my dog to the vet for him to be put to sleep. I could feel the cold, hard shaft of irony slide its way up my ass and slowly fuck me senseless with every step I took on this beautiful National Dog Day. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2011 at 1:49pm / United States / Animals

Today, I discovered that I won't be able to wear the dress with a low neck line that I bought for my cousin's wedding, because my older brother thought it would be funny to mix a scented body-wash that he knows makes my skin break out in hives, with my regular one. My chest looks like a pizza. FML

by pizzachest / 08/19/2011 at 9:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

by Anonymous / 08/19/2011 at 3:13am / United States (New York) / Money

Today, after a tennis lesson, the coach was picking up the stray tennis balls around the court. Trying to be helpful, I asked him, "Do you want me to grab your ball bag?" His eyeballs almost burst out of their sockets. FML

by BigmouthStrikesAgain / 08/18/2011 at 8:18pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I was bored and all alone while cleaning at work. This led me to start passionately doing a ballet dance in the empty corridor. I promptly stopped as I remembered the surveillance cameras. FML

by secret dancer / 08/16/2011 at 12:55pm / Sweden (Jonkopings Lan) / Work

Today, I heard that a boy in my class had written a song about me. Intrigued, I went to see him perform. I spent 3 excruciating minutes listening to a song about 'the girl of his dreams', his tear-filled eyes staring into mine the whole time. I have to sit next to this freak for the next 2 years. FML

by worried / 08/16/2011 at 9:20am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Love

Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML

by Goaway / 08/14/2011 at 7:20am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML

by power corrupts... / 08/07/2011 at 4:29pm / Czech Republic (Plzensky kraj) / Work

Today, my boyfriend showed me his penis for the first time. All I could think to say was, "That's a clean circumcision." FML

by plantfood / 08/06/2011 at 2:35am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML

by ohcrap / 08/02/2011 at 12:58am / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, it's my birthday. Out of loneliness, I went to order some flowers and a cake "for a friend". The guy who delivered it to my house was the same guy from the counter. FML

by anon / 07/26/2011 at 8:01pm / Israel / Miscellaneous

Today, I actually resorted to checking the newspaper obituaries to see where the deceased were employed, just so I can find a job opening. FML

by Anonymous / 06/30/2011 at 1:44pm / United States (Kansas) / Work

Today, as I passed my fiancé the pancakes I had just made, he vocalised his happiness with a groan that was EXACTLY like the one he makes when we have sex. So on a sexiness rating, I'm a pancake. FML

by Eve / 06/24/2011 at 6:45am / Ireland (Cork) / Intimacy