Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bkingkingking

Search for a member

bkingkingking

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4769
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

bkingkingking's page activity

Visits<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/07/2015 at 10:59pm<b>foxbryan13</b> - the 09/03/2015 at 3:39am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 7:55pm<b>indigohippopo</b> - the 01/22/2015 at 11:54pm<b>little_red_hood</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>AcousticKid1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:25am<b>binbin05</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:11am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Brownie3737</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:21pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:24am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:14am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:42am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>easternbmx0</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:47am

Fucked!<b>Envy22</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 4:59am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 1:55am

bkingkingking's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bkingkingking's badges

bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (9820)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24971) - you deserved it (5398)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I turned the shower on, I got covered in gravy. Turns out, my friends had unscrewed the shower head, filled it with gravy granules, then screwed it back on. FML

#19319473
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28394) - you deserved it (3101)

On 03/21/2012 at 7:46am - health - by J Rush - United Kingdom (Powys)

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

#19296318
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27284) - you deserved it (2737)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:48pm - kids - by Redhead4life (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was so bored that I spent two hours researching the history of spoons. FML

#19293540
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23739) - you deserved it (7477)

On 03/17/2012 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

#19263834
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8333) - you deserved it (36858)

On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39244) - you deserved it (5895)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML

#19249399
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26215) - you deserved it (19469)

On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)

Today, I went with my friends to see a movie. I handed my student card over to the cashier as proof I was old enough to see it, and he started laughing hysterically at my picture. Then he called over a colleague, who also started laughing. FML

#19233268
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29300) - you deserved it (2840)

On 03/07/2012 at 1:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML

#19211416
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23752) - you deserved it (5933)

On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was suffering from a persistant, irritating itch on my butthole. Worried, I took a picture with my iPhone to get an idea of what was causing said itch. I never found the source, but my Mum and grandmother did, on the iPad. Thanks, Photo Stream. FML

#19208526
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14043) - you deserved it (30352)

On 03/03/2012 at 11:12am - health - by Buttscratcher (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24261) - you deserved it (3452)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19395) - you deserved it (32761)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

#19164002
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31853) - you deserved it (5578)

On 02/25/2012 at 10:13pm - misc - by baconandkittens (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my grandparents my old cell to use since they needed an upgrade. I thought I had deleted everything until I received a text from my grandmother. It was a vagina shot I had taken for my fiancé with a message that said "You need to wear more makeup". FML

#19158287
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10920) - you deserved it (35307)

On 02/25/2012 at 1:16am - intimacy - by ashleynicolle (woman) - United States (Arkansas)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: