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bkingkingking

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bkingkingking
  • Town/Country : Farnborough, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1158
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML

#19840064
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1107)

On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I went on a long flight. I was fortunate enough to sit next to a great girl. However, she must have thought I was not so great, because she moved to the empty seat across the aisle. Next to my dad. Who then told stories about how I always get motion sickness on airplanes. I then threw up. FML

#19828515
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20270) - you deserved it (3003)

On 06/22/2012 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the Jehovah's Witnesses witnessed me whacking off on my couch. FML

Today, I was getting dirty with my boyfriend. It was the first time he had fingered anyone, and the only thing he said was, "It feels like the inside of my asshole." FML

#19810073
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40433) - you deserved it (3683)

On 06/18/2012 at 11:33pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, while I was on stage dancing for a competition dress rehearsal, my top fell off, exposing my breasts. I was really embarrassed, but fortunately no one said anything about it. That is until a kid in the audience came up to me and said, "That was a disappointment." FML

#19737125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20133) - you deserved it (2293)

On 06/05/2012 at 3:27am - misc - by KenzFell (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

#19703850
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (4179)

On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I brought my 90-year-old grandfather into school for a project that required to bring in "a first-hand account" of the Great Depression. He started off by telling the class how in his day, they "threw rocks at black people." FML

#19608717
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22350) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/11/2012 at 7:52pm - misc - by Class (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML

#19557716
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18691) - you deserved it (4135)

On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home earlier than usual, only to find my wife having sex with some guy on our bed. Her reaction to being confronted was to look me dead in the eyes and to scream and scream until I got so freaked out that I left. It's her house, and I'm sitting in a library with no idea what to do. FML

#19539358
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37781) - you deserved it (2463)

On 04/27/2012 at 9:04pm - intimacy - by yosenfal (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, while putting on a load of laundry, I squeezed the detergent bottle and it made a noise like a woman's orgasm. After laughing, I realised that I'm probably too immature to be washing my own clothes. FML

#19521311
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8181) - you deserved it (21095)

On 04/24/2012 at 10:03am - intimacy - by mmmtortilla (woman) - Spain (Pais Vasco)

Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16775) - you deserved it (4547)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

#19517748
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10567) - you deserved it (35218)

On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, I met a hot guy at the bar and we hit it off instantly. After a few drinks, he called a cab for us. When it arrived, I seducingly asked, "My place or yours?" He responds, "Both. I'll go to mine and you go to yours" and walked away. The cab driver laughed the whole way home. FML

#19509709
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23758) - you deserved it (10142)

On 04/22/2012 at 3:01am - misc - by ultraattitude - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey. On my forehead. FML

#19394334
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23824) - you deserved it (8990)

On 04/02/2012 at 10:02am - love - by IloveJapan (woman) - Japan

Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a woman asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML

#19324398
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20306) - you deserved it (4734)

On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)



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