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bkingkingking

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bkingkingking
  • Town/Country : Farnborough, United Kingdom
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1180
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

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bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

#19959638
250 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18319) - you deserved it (4030)

On 07/19/2012 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by cortanaisahobot - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made microwaveable popcorn. When the bag finished popping, I took it out and opened it and put my face in close to get a big whiff. It now feels like I have third degree burns inside my nose and behind my eyes. FML

#19945940
154 comments

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28541) - you deserved it (4823)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (2153)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home in tears after my boyfriend admitted to cheating on me. My dad told me to sit down and tell him everything. He's pretty eccentric, so I wasn't fazed when he put on a pair of sunglasses. When I stopped talking, I noticed his mouth was slightly agape and he was snoring. FML

#19934341
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (2153)

On 07/13/2012 at 9:41pm - love - by heartbroken (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, an old guy approached me and asked if I had ever seen an elephant with white ears. I shook my head. He then pulled the pockets out of his shorts and whipped out his sex nose. FML

#19926709
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30684) - you deserved it (3891)

On 07/12/2012 at 2:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a blood-curdling scream from the bathroom. I discovered my husband, naked and with his pants around his ankles, standing in the bathtub and pointing at a cockroach on the ground. After disposing of the body, I had to stay and comfort him while he wiped his ass. FML

#19919285
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24150) - you deserved it (2747)

On 07/10/2012 at 3:33pm - misc - by I_Has_A_Fishy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12503) - you deserved it (23727)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to an orchestra concert. Halfway through the performance I had to fart really bad, so I decided to try and sneak it in while the orchestra was playing a loud exciting part. Just as I let it rip, there was a dramatic pause in the music. Everyone heard. FML

#19917515
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12503) - you deserved it (23727)

On 07/10/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Concert Flatulent - United States (Texas)

Today, I was listening to some Michael Jackson through my earphones when I saw this really cute girl. Trying to impress, I aproached her while doing some dance moves, not thinking about how unbelievably stupid it must have looked without the music. FML

#19913631
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6570) - you deserved it (29294)

On 07/09/2012 at 6:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I went to my regular pharmacist of three months, and since I've always seen him on a crutch, I asked him how his leg was. His response: "Still missing". FML

#19903690
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18781) - you deserved it (5681)

On 07/07/2012 at 3:26am - misc - by sozzy - United States (California)

Today, I slammed my middle finger in a drawer. I screamed and my mom came running into the kitchen. She asked me what was wrong, so without thinking I stuck up my middle finger. She hasn't spoken to me since this morning. FML

#19848843
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22025) - you deserved it (4962)

On 06/26/2012 at 2:05am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I finally achieved the perfect hourglass figure. Too bad I'm a guy. FML

#19844120
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18978) - you deserved it (4584)

On 06/25/2012 at 10:05am - misc - by Wwiimaniac (man) - United States (Texas)



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