Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bkingkingking

Search for a member

bkingkingking

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2304
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About bkingkingking : http://twitter.com/bkingkingking

bkingkingking's page activity

Visits<b>little_red_hood</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 12:52pm<b>Edogg215</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:19pm<b>AcousticKid1</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 1:13pm<b>Sinester69</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 9:25am<b>binbin05</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 2:11am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 6:59pm<b>Brownie3737</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 12:21pm<b>DudeEvil</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 11:16am<b>Katiekhalifa</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 7:24am<b>LunaaBluee</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 4:14am<b>Mightytall</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 3:16am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:42am<b>NoFightinDestiny</b> - the 12/10/2013 at 2:40am<b>easternbmx0</b> - the 11/13/2013 at 5:41pm<b>Falzou</b> - the 11/10/2013 at 10:47am<b>rob02</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 8:15pm<b>ColtonStecher</b> - the 08/14/2013 at 1:17am<b>Martinez0285</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 6:28pm

bkingkingking's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of bkingkingking's badges

bkingkingking's favorite FMLs

Today, it seems to have got to the point where I take fleas off my cat so often that I now have dreams about finding the biggest and most perfect flea. FML

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, I was singing while driving through the car park. I blacked out trying to hit a high note, and ended up bashing into another car. FML

#21063366
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22922) - you deserved it (39708)

On 02/17/2014 at 12:43pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

#21046882
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47376) - you deserved it (3606)

On 02/01/2014 at 2:47am - misc - by ccgundum (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was told I looked like Beaker from the Muppets. After doing a side-by-side comparison, I realized it's true. FML

#21032010
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37866) - you deserved it (4210)

On 01/18/2014 at 6:09pm - misc - by cjgreer70 - United States (Oregon)

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

#21028949
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58517) - you deserved it (5188)

On 01/15/2014 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by DisturbedMan (man) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

#21025234
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56687) - you deserved it (5696)

On 01/12/2014 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found a great recipe for dinner, and emailed it to myself with the subject "Dinner tonight". Hours later, I'd forgotten all about it, opened my emails, saw the subject line, and thought someone was asking me out to dinner. I got really excited until I saw the sender address. FML

#21019190
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45325) - you deserved it (14160)

On 01/06/2014 at 3:57pm - misc - by Mels (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my band members and I were brainstorming ideas to help increase our fan base. My drummer suggested they replace me for someone attractive. Everyone agreed and now they are trying to kick me out of the band I started. FML

#20986659
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45982) - you deserved it (3439)

On 12/09/2013 at 6:25pm - misc - by YouAssholes - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

#20980652
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42316) - you deserved it (10981)

On 12/04/2013 at 5:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I had a nightmare in which I was haunted by the ghost of my foreskin. I then spent the whole day moping around, wondering what my life would've been like if my parents hadn't opted to slice it off. Will I see you in heaven, long-lost ghostly foreskin? FML

#20972170
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31072) - you deserved it (14740)

On 11/27/2013 at 3:44am - health - by MissYouPieceOfSkin (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42510) - you deserved it (12817)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, while working at McDonald's, an angry customer called asking for his money back. Apparently we'd put 6 cheeseburgers in his bag instead of 5, he ate them all and now feels sick. FML

Today, while teaching juniors about black holes, I said, "Imagine everything being sucked into a black hole." An African-American student shouted, "I'd better start clenching!" Nobody took the lesson seriously after that. FML

#20946225
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44063) - you deserved it (5353)

On 11/05/2013 at 8:22am - work - by regretsteachinghighschool - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend left me for another girl. My dad's reaction to the news and my tears was to say, "Aww. Gonna write a song about it, Taylor Swift?" FML

#20942725
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53440) - you deserved it (7793)

On 11/02/2013 at 4:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: