Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bjr1208

Search for a member

bjr1208

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4854
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About bjr1208 : If your seeing this you are a creeper. I don't give a fuck about what you call me. "arguing on the Internet is like running a race at the special olympics, if you win, your still retarded"

bjr1208's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:38pm<b>Sweerectioner13</b> - the 07/23/2014 at 8:17am<b>pplthinkimbad</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Rhett_15</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 9:39pm<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 07/09/2014 at 11:44am<b>xxButtersxx</b> - the 05/27/2014 at 8:50am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 9:19pm<b>msmama1985</b> - the 05/09/2014 at 9:01pm<b>J352SAURUS</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 2:48am<b>MidnaLink</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 11:53pm<b>koolkool994</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 1:10am<b>shelbelz</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 5:25pm<b>Stephy94</b> - the 04/05/2014 at 7:16am<b>Redundant_Idiot</b> - the 02/22/2014 at 8:32am<b>Preposterous</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 5:36am<b>mimi_animee</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>glamophonic</b> - the 01/17/2014 at 1:49am<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/08/2014 at 1:03am

bjr1208's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bjr1208's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26042) - you deserved it (3674)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
500 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48741) - you deserved it (5911)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6383)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (5424)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30204) - you deserved it (5252)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32980) - you deserved it (3127)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34825) - you deserved it (11620)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33809) - you deserved it (6897)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45896) - you deserved it (2824)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45896) - you deserved it (2824)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

#18291924
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15074) - you deserved it (34192)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
369 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38254) - you deserved it (31177)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32185) - you deserved it (2656)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32002) - you deserved it (6417)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35102) - you deserved it (8160)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: