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bjr1208

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bjr1208
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3619
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About bjr1208 : If your seeing this you are a creeper. I don't give a fuck about what you call me. "arguing on the Internet is like running a race at the special olympics, if you win, your still retarded"

bjr1208's last visitors

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bjr1208's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bjr1208's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to the smell of bacon. It smelled so good, and made me very hungry. Then I realized it was my neighbor cooking. I have no money or bacon. FML

#18346168
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23926) - you deserved it (3465)

On 11/25/2011 at 11:15am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, at the Black Friday Sale, a fully grown man hit my 5 year old daughter for an Xbox. In anger, I punched the guy and gave him a bloody nose. I'm now banned from Best Buy, and my daughter has a concussion. FML

#18344232
502 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43544) - you deserved it (5330)

On 11/25/2011 at 3:20am - misc - by nicoreal89 - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother lost his first tooth, so I told him the tooth fairy is going to give him money. He now thinks The Rock is going to show up in his room. FML

#18327184
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27506) - you deserved it (6035)

On 11/23/2011 at 2:14pm - kids - by G. Briones -

Today, I was complaining to my boyfriend about our excessive water bill. He then says, "Don't look at me, I don't even shower." FML

#18325546
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24525) - you deserved it (5089)

On 11/23/2011 at 10:16am - money - by jshibbz0993 - United States (Florida)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he farted. He blamed it on a "nearby frog." FML

#18320267
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28013) - you deserved it (5013)

On 11/22/2011 at 8:00pm - intimacy - by Gabriela -

Today, I found Jesus. The bad news, he was in the form of a concrete statue falling on my car. FML

#18316439
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31048) - you deserved it (2950)

On 11/22/2011 at 12:18pm - misc - by religionbites621 - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I went to my doctor. I casually asked him why I keep getting headaches after I masturbate. He said it probably was a sign from God. FML

#18314611
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31538) - you deserved it (10773)

On 11/22/2011 at 4:36am - intimacy - by toomuch (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I popped a boner while my braces were being tightened. FML

#18309491
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27827) - you deserved it (5312)

On 11/21/2011 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (2097)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was called by a restricted number. The man on the phone then explained to me in detail what I was doing at every second that I was on the phone with him. I'm scared to leave my house. FML

#18304644
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39343) - you deserved it (2097)

On 11/21/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by bizzyizzy0121 - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom and checking Facebook on my phone. As I'm checking my news feed, I notice a new photo upload by my brother. I guess I forgot to shut the door to the bathroom, because it's me on the toilet. FML

#18291924
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14131) - you deserved it (32431)

On 11/19/2011 at 7:52pm - misc - by beccabooyah - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

#18286720
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32835) - you deserved it (23911)

On 11/19/2011 at 3:05am - intimacy - by Tyler - United States

Today, at my job as a cocktail server in a bar, a group of good looking ladies sat in my section. As I was finishing up with the table next to them I overheard one of them saying, "I hope we don't get that guy, I want a sexy waiter tonight." FML

#18286686
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (2445)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Tyler - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother looked me dead in the face and said, "I have failed as a parent." FML

#18286632
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30564) - you deserved it (6218)

On 11/19/2011 at 2:47am - love - by Yeoman (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, we had a sprint race in gym class which I wasn't looking forward to because I'm a little chubby. The race started and I shot off as fast as I could, somehow in the lead. Everyone was cheering. When I was nearing the finish line I turned around, only to see the race hadn't started yet. FML

#18285625
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33004) - you deserved it (7803)

On 11/18/2011 at 11:54pm - misc - by dan - Reserved



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