bjr1208

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bjr1208

2Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 10245
  • Number of comments : 72
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 14 posted

About bjr1208 : If your seeing this you are a creeper. I don't give a fuck about what you call me. "arguing on the Internet is like running a race at the special olympics, if you win, your still retarded"

bjr1208's page activity

Visits<b>TacoMan32</b> - 12 hours ago<b>wanted_2_want</b> - the 07/16/2016 at 11:13pm<b>raven83</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 12:06pm<b>kukumber</b> - the 05/10/2016 at 9:02pm<b>repaha</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:42am<b>teacupofsunshine</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 12:18am<b>jojocircus19</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 5:13pm<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 12:59pm<b>moosemanjinkurs</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 10:13pm<b>TheAlmightyColon</b> - the 12/08/2015 at 8:05am<b>GetRektBro</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 5:55pm<b>One_Way</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 12:37am<b>Caroline1812</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:27pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 3:36pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 05/26/2015 at 4:20am<b>FutBol_Fan_30</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 4:54am<b>Kazze</b> - the 04/23/2015 at 11:01am<b>Brumbler</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:59pm

Fucked!<b>repaha</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 7:43am<b>BlackHawkSavior</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 7:00pm

bjr1208's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

bjr1208's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend of three days asked if we could start naming our future children. FML

by spermbankonlegs / 03/15/2012 at 10:21pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

by daddy-o / 03/14/2012 at 3:51am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

by Alison / 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML

by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

by Hannah / 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend and I were playing football in the street, when out of nowhere a homeless man sucker punches me in the gut, grabs my football, and runs away laughing like a maniac. FML

by Username / 02/27/2012 at 7:37pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

by Miss_Kristen / 02/26/2012 at 10:31am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, my 18-year old son decided to run his hand over our wooden fence to try and get a splinter, as he "forgot what they felt like." Last month, he stabbed himself in the arm with a sewing needle because he "forgot what an injection feels like." I raised this idiot. FML

by badmom / 02/25/2012 at 6:25am / Ireland (Dublin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was showing off my sexy new lingerie set to my boyfriend. While we were getting frisky, he got really into things and ripped it completely off my body, destroying it. It cost me $110. FML

by Lilah / 02/18/2012 at 7:29pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently, the mafia is out to get him. FML

by Just_Me_88 / 02/14/2012 at 1:32am / United States / Love

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

by tkr / 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I jokingly told my boyfriend that he should sing that song that goes 'I'm too sexy for my shirt' when we have sex. Now, every time that we have sex, that song is going to be stuck in my head. FML

by tkr / 02/05/2012 at 10:14pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy