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bjoernabee

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bjoernabee

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 203
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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bjoernabee's page activity

Visits<b>Rain4Tears</b> - the 07/29/2014 at 11:03pm<b>alexmac222</b> - the 01/09/2014 at 5:16am<b>cupcake1126</b> - the 08/02/2013 at 10:15pm<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 8:24pm<b>TrecatXX</b> - the 04/22/2013 at 10:12pm<b>cdsg23</b> - the 06/03/2012 at 9:53am

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bjoernabee's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my son to go clean his mess of a room. He yelled, "Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!" and walked off. He turned 18 a week ago. FML

#19983117
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (12408)

On 07/25/2012 at 6:54am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML

#19977285
280 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9328) - you deserved it (62593)

On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -

Today, my boyfriend told me that my vagina looks like Yoda. FML

#19939315
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30989) - you deserved it (5142)

On 07/15/2012 at 12:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

#19928719
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26366) - you deserved it (4307)

On 07/12/2012 at 3:23pm - intimacy - by lissysue1 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in bed making out. He then tried to unhook my bra. After a full minute of trying unsuccessfully, he shouted "Fuck you, bra!" before hiding his face in the pillows. FML

#19877341
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33169) - you deserved it (4794)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, during the early hours, I got hungry and went to grab something to eat. I entered the kitchen, only to see my stark-naked dad sitting at the table, eating cereal and reading the paper. He just nodded at me and said, "Son." I think I need a new pair of eyes. FML

#19751282
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21416) - you deserved it (2112)

On 06/07/2012 at 7:09pm - misc - by Rohirus (man) - Sweden

Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML

#19504619
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8213) - you deserved it (31556)

On 04/21/2012 at 2:01am - animals - by gimmeasalad - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML

#19453436
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18301) - you deserved it (47514)

On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

#19289453
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (11900)

On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

#19279132
240 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33057) - you deserved it (5862)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm - intimacy - by PUA - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend referred to his penis as 'The Eye of Sauron'. It didn't help when he pulled down his foreskin, pointed it in my direction and said 'I see you'. FML

#18844188
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31868) - you deserved it (4986)

On 01/18/2012 at 1:29pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom

Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML

#18729935
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (55717)

On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60246) - you deserved it (12596)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my phone alarm woke me up. It had fallen under my boyfriend's bed. Naked, I got on all fours to retrieve it. My boyfriend's dog stuck his nose in my ass. FML

#16101317
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42488) - you deserved it (17740)

On 05/09/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by coldwetnose (woman) - United States

Today, I just had a phone interview with a college. The lady asked me to spell out my password to a site so she can access my test scores. The password was "dick." FML

#9372806
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10810) - you deserved it (46655)

On 03/25/2010 at 7:07am - intimacy - by uhoh901 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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