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bjnono001

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bjnono001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1044
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bjnono001's page activity

Visits<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:37pm<b>buckaroo_1999</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:55pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:40pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:47pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>TML329</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:30pm

bjnono001's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of bjnono001's badges

bjnono001's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (3243)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28240) - you deserved it (5760)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41512) - you deserved it (3789)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42304) - you deserved it (7193)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33713) - you deserved it (65652)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States

Today, trying to flirt with a girl, I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (57895)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54065) - you deserved it (26136)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I played an intense paintball match, with me and my friends versus my boyfriend and his buddies. When we won, my boyfriend went mental and said he only lost because of "lag". When I pointed out we weren't in a video game, he reacted by firing a paintball straight into my chest. FML

#20478409
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41106) - you deserved it (5794)

On 01/25/2013 at 5:19pm - health - by LagSwitchFTW (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while at work taking notes on a pad of paper, my boss witnessed me trying to scroll down on the paper, as if it was a touch-screen phone. FML

#20190845
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7333) - you deserved it (29212)

On 12/04/2012 at 12:16pm - work - by mdg (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, 60 guests for my wedding were supposed to arrive to the Bahamas. The first and only hurricane of the season decided to crash my wedding, stranding my mom, maid of honor and best man. No one will be able to attend my wedding, except the other drunken hotel guests. FML

#20133630
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23545) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/25/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by sadbride - Bahamas (New Providence)

Today, I passed out while I was with my boyfriend in his garden. I woke up on the concrete just outside his house. Apparently, he'd tried to carry me in, but because he was too weak, he gave up and went to watch TV. FML

#20131269
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26536) - you deserved it (3408)

On 10/24/2012 at 12:52pm - love - by Alice - United Kingdom

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
284 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13292) - you deserved it (42285)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I went to the store. Because we have no car, we had to walk four miles in the 115 fahrenheit weather. It didn't click until we were standing outside the door with a metric shit-tonne of ice-cream, that we'd have to tear ass back home to keep it all from melting. FML

#19876028
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7582) - you deserved it (28338)

On 07/01/2012 at 1:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML

#19731019
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30363) - you deserved it (4354)

On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States

Today, I'm found out I'm pregnant. My husband and I spoke at length about how we were going to handle things, which included him "forbidding" me from having an epidural, because he doesn't want our baby to "come out addicted to drugs." FML

#19613672
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27902) - you deserved it (2975)

On 05/12/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by CalyenaL (woman) - Mexico (Baja California)



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