Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bjnono001

Offline (9 hours ago) | Search for a member

bjnono001

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 625
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bjnono001's page activity

Visits<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>TML329</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:30pm

bjnono001's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of bjnono001's badges

bjnono001's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw an unbelievably cute guy. He caught my eye and began to walk towards me. I adjusted myself and flashed him a smile. He came up to me, smiled back, and said "Hi, do you have a minute for gay rights?" FML

#17987408
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36007) - you deserved it (7550)

On 10/15/2011 at 2:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I noticed how big my brother's package is. If it hadn't been for the fact that my family has taken up walking around naked half the day, I never would have had to. FML

#17594618
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (3750)

On 08/27/2011 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36980) - you deserved it (3470)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my husband declined a $100k/year job due to him thinking that a full time job at one work place would be too 'depressing'. I'm a nurse and have to wipe other people's arses for a living, then come home to this lazy dick. FML

#17416952
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43168) - you deserved it (7927)

On 08/09/2011 at 9:48am - work - by Lauren - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML

#17281952
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37572) - you deserved it (5607)

On 07/27/2011 at 10:02pm - intimacy - by Nickname (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I went out drinking with my friends. Being safe as we were a little intoxicated, we took a taxi back. The cab driver was also drunk. FML

#17000243
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41137) - you deserved it (4152)

On 07/06/2011 at 1:06pm - misc - by THOMASisMYname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend tried to tell me that he was worried our child might not be mine because he was cheating on me when I got pregnant. FML

#16912974
444 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64624) - you deserved it (6748)

On 06/29/2011 at 7:52pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I have a new boss. She claims to be a professional Angry Birds player. FML

#15884668
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30884) - you deserved it (4894)

On 04/22/2011 at 10:42am - work - by Username -

Today, I was waiting for the bus while wearing my FML shirt. A passer-by stopped, stared at me for a moment, and said, "I agree, your life sucks." FML

#15528931
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28038) - you deserved it (54375) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/28/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by Danou - Sent from mobile version

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34775) - you deserved it (48742)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up next to my best friend after lots of drinking and the best sex I've ever had in my life. The only problem is we're both straight males. FML

#15042917
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (41788)

On 02/19/2011 at 4:29pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I hit a dead deer that had been left in the middle of the road. My car started to make a funny noise and smell, so I pulled over to check it, thinking I blew the tire on some antlers. The deer got stuck in my front wheel, and I'd dragged it more than a mile. And it wasn't actually dead. FML

#14658044
302 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18994) - you deserved it (41685)

On 01/21/2011 at 1:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend. I started to come, screaming, "Ah... ah... ah... AHH!" To which he added, "Staying alive! Staying alive!" FML

#14608705
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30833) - you deserved it (19956) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 1:24am - intimacy - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I went to a museum that had exhibits of wax people in the hallways. We were taking pictures of what we thought to be a waxwork old lady. Turns out she was real. FML

#13138405
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20638) - you deserved it (8770)

On 09/21/2010 at 1:46am - misc - by yourmom - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went to a school football game alone. I sat next to these hot girls. To seem cool, I picked up my phone and had a fake conversation with the coolest guy in the grade. Halfway through, he came over and talked to the girls. FML

#12997934
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6935) - you deserved it (55072)

On 09/11/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)



Idan Schneider's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #11
  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: