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bjnono001

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bjnono001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1059
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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bjnono001's page activity

Visits<b>taranoelr</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 5:37pm<b>buckaroo_1999</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 10:55pm<b>olpally</b> - the 10/20/2015 at 5:40pm<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:47pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>TML329</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:30pm

bjnono001's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

See all of bjnono001's badges

bjnono001's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21435) - you deserved it (7046)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I asked my boyfriend of 3 years what he thought about marriage in the future. "Who knows? We might meet other people soon." FML

#21474448
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24701) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/30/2015 at 1:26am - love - by Spinster - United States (Colorado)

Today, I slipped in my own vomit while dashing to the bathroom to puke. My knee hit and shattered the toilet; the toilet shattered my knee. FML

Today, my roommate remembered that we have an essay due Monday, so he wrote the full essay, while stoned, in less than an hour, without using his textbook. It was better than the one I spent all week writing. He is now upstairs having sex, and I've lost all motivation. FML

#21467953
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27085) - you deserved it (2687)

On 09/13/2015 at 11:34am - work - by anonymous (woman) - Luxembourg

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (4420)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

#21450109
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19447) - you deserved it (31095)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33760) - you deserved it (4770)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30174) - you deserved it (2096)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32015) - you deserved it (4688)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30453) - you deserved it (4929)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

#21418362
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27122) - you deserved it (12360)

On 05/31/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28555) - you deserved it (2862)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (4665)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

#21358314
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30939) - you deserved it (5860)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm - love - by superscript - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

#21327810
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31659) - you deserved it (2785)

On 12/31/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia



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