Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bjnono001

Offline (15 hours ago) | Search for a member

bjnono001

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 863
  • Number of comments : 10
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bjnono001's page activity

Visits<b>SMHsohard</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 2:47pm<b>drshn</b> - the 07/21/2014 at 7:04pm<b>dcisecurite</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 12:37am<b>TML329</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:30pm

bjnono001's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of bjnono001's badges

bjnono001's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26506) - you deserved it (4057)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32553) - you deserved it (4582)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (1923)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29903) - you deserved it (4391)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend forgot to pick our son up from daycare. His excuse? Fighting in a battle in World of Warcraft was far more important and he had to stay absolutely focused. Our son had to wait for two hours. FML

#21424976
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (4836)

On 06/12/2015 at 12:51pm - misc - by poor baby - Germany

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

#21418362
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25774) - you deserved it (11552)

On 05/31/2015 at 12:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26505) - you deserved it (2534)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, an old friend of mine landed in Spain, where he's visiting me. After a few minutes talking about where we should meet, we realized the reason he couldn't figure out where it was, was probably due to the fact that he was in Barcelona. I live in Madrid. FML

#21371100
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32705) - you deserved it (4330)

On 03/09/2015 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Spain (Aragon)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend wasn't really bedridden sick on Valentine's Day. A Super Smash Bros game date with his friends was just more important. FML

#21358314
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30224) - you deserved it (5760)

On 02/17/2015 at 10:40pm - love - by superscript - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a date. After we finished our meal, I had to use the bathroom really bad. When I said so, my date totally lost it and accused me of planning on climbing out a window and ditching her. "Fuck that and fuck you!" she said, then stormed out, leaving me with the bill. FML

#21327810
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30809) - you deserved it (2732)

On 12/31/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, my mom and I went to exchange a massive stuffed animal, which was meant for my niece. I was carrying it when I saw a really hot guy looking at me funny. My mom snickered and told him that I never go anywhere without "George". FML

#21325643
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32712) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/28/2014 at 1:52am - misc - by thanks a lot mom - United States (California)

Today, my commitment issues were perfectly illustrated when I couldn't put a nail in the wall to hang a painting, because, "What if I change my mind?" FML

#21316117
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26913) - you deserved it (5555)

On 12/12/2014 at 9:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to my boss that using a wired connection instead of wifi won't stop his computer from getting viruses. He looked at me, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, like he was a 13-year-old boy and I was a pair of tits. Then he called me clueless and told me to get back to work. FML

#21206280
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40731) - you deserved it (3750)

On 07/11/2014 at 6:54pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40765) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, I found out yet another of my guy friends liked me. I posted that I just wanted a guy friend that had absolutely no romantic feelings for me. My crush volunteered. FML

#20842536
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31599) - you deserved it (61918)

On 08/18/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by fail - United States



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: