Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bjhhjh

Online | Search for a member

bjhhjh

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2266
  • Number of comments : 18
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About bjhhjh : French canadian that lives In California. Hockey and traveling are my life. If anyone wants to chat, feel free to kik me @bjhhjh

bjhhjh's page activity

Visits<b>jelly_bennett</b> - yesterday at 9:56pm<b>ptv_96</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:35pm<b>jumpinghippos</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:39pm<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:04pm<b>abbey_twister</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:33pm<b>rabidpeach</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 4:22pm<b>zineb22</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 3:44pm<b>TayTay4Ever</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 2:48pm<b>lenardMcCravits</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 11:21am<b>HeyItsCamilo</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:24am<b>redrobbey</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 10:00am<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 8:50am<b>zdane</b> - the 08/18/2014 at 6:14am<b>Zero_TAlent_</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>loathingloser</b> - the 07/04/2014 at 4:22am<b>haley_alena</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 10:28pm<b>Toutejulie</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 11:20am<b>appleinfo11</b> - the 06/26/2014 at 5:28am

bjhhjh's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of bjhhjh's badges

bjhhjh's favorite FMLs

Today, some random bloke introduced himself at a bar by asking to fuck me. I got tongue-tied trying to say both "fuck off" and "please go away". I ended up telling him to "Please fuck away." FML

#21242424
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9086) - you deserved it (1716)

On 08/21/2014 at 12:36pm - misc - by royallymessedup -

Today, my girlfriend took our prank war way too far and had a package sent to me at home. Confused, I opened it. It contained a dildo and a bottle of lube. I didn't know my dad was watching over my shoulder until I heard him choke on his coffee and felt it splash over my neck. FML

#21241836
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (4622)

On 08/20/2014 at 5:03pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer told my boss I was too pushy because I asked her what bra size she wears. I work at a lingerie store. I got a stern lecture from my boss. FML

#21240726
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32607) - you deserved it (2501)

On 08/18/2014 at 10:59pm - work - by sorrynotsorry (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that when someone is choking you don't do the "hymen maneuver", you do the "heimlich maneuver". I was corrected by my girlfriend's parents. FML

#21240474
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (11975)

On 08/18/2014 at 12:29pm - misc - by FANZZY - United States (New York)

Today, to spice things up, my boyfriend suggested we wear disguises. Amused by the idea, I accepted. That's how I ended up having sex with Gandalf. FML

#21240323
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33960) - you deserved it (6890) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/18/2014 at 12:48am - intimacy - by Degueusement (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

#21239517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37868) - you deserved it (11958)

On 08/17/2014 at 2:15am - kids - by you ripped them off ages ago (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37296) - you deserved it (3798)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got suspended from work after getting caught reading a work-related FML. Irony is funny, but it doesn't pay the bills. FML

#21226986
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (15500)

On 08/01/2014 at 6:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my son said his first word. Unfortunately, that word was "cock." I've tried convincing myself that he's trying to say "clock" but I just can't do it. FML

#21225778
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38475) - you deserved it (6686)

On 07/31/2014 at 12:24pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I spent six hours at the ER. Why? My husband dared our seventeen-year-old son to recreate a 'Jackass' trolley-hedge diving stunt at the local supermarket. What wasn't on my groceries list was a broken arm, fractured wrist, whiplash and cuts and bruises. FML

#21224521
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39983) - you deserved it (4388)

On 07/30/2014 at 4:21am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, I lost my wedding ring at work. It wouldn't be too hard to track down, except that I work at Heinz. If you find it in your mayonnaise, keep it. FML

Today, I was doing a design sketch for work. I snapped a pic and sent it to my boss. She replied, "Impressive. Nice sketch too." I was drawing at home, naked. My dick was in the picture. FML

Today, a customer threatened to smash my face in because I wouldn't give him a veteran's discount on a donut. He looked like he'd eaten his way out of fat camp, and it seemed the only action he'd seen was fighting his way into a lard factory. Still, he swung fast, and I now have a black eye. FML

#21219507
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38321) - you deserved it (15743)

On 07/24/2014 at 5:23pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I had to take a splinter out of my eight year old son's penis. FML

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39959) - you deserved it (4507)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #2: In slow-moving hell
  • It was once a dream, now it’s come true. We’re at the place that was allocated months ago for preprogrammed, enforced holiday fun time. We’ve put on some cargo shorts, slipped on some of those…

Wednesday 13 August 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: