About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality
My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..
Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more
I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me
I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people
I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.
Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Today, I returned home from college and saw a framed picture of my parents and my younger sister on an elephant in an exotic jungle. I pointed to the picture and asked my mom, "Is this some photoshop job?" She responded, "No, we went to Thailand for a family trip, didn't we tell you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (59818) - you deserved it (2325)
On 02/20/2009 at 4:24am - misc - by OutoftheLoop (woman) - China (Beijing)
Today, I was at work. I work at a grocery store and a woman pulls a cart to me filled with chips, breads, lunch meats, and sodas. I said to her "Looks like you are going to have a fun party" she then looks at me and says "My mother just died, this is for after the funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (7949)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by KMKWEEN (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, as I sat on my couch heartbroken from a very recent breakup, my mother walked up to me and in a very comforting voice said, "maybe he left you for someone else." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34909) - you deserved it (1417)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:51am - misc - by too bad so sad (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, a flight attendant asked me if I was airsick because I looked really pale. I told her that was my normal complexion but thanked her for her concern. She insisted "No, that can't be normal." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29771) - you deserved it (1799)
On 02/11/2009 at 12:16am - misc - by Casper (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11 to her garage where we start to have sex. When she comes to climax she slips and hits her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down, we were both still naked and she was unconscious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74777) - you deserved it (13849)
On 02/09/2009 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by douglisk1994 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I tried to befriend the lonely boy who sits at the end of my table at lunch. He always sleeps or does homework during lunch. I walked over to him, tripped, and spilled my open bottle of water on his jeans. I apologized profusely and wiped off his pants with napkins. He got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22296) - you deserved it (7510)
On 01/31/2009 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by brighteyes - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5815) - you deserved it (14296)
On 01/27/2009 at 1:33am - love - by dlova - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25046) - you deserved it (1815)
On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)
Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10508) - you deserved it (4032)
On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16199) - you deserved it (4063)
On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)
Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10852) - you deserved it (1520)
On 01/15/2009 at 3:05am - animals - by anx133 - China (Shanghai)
Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16687) - you deserved it (931)
On 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm - love - by ren - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, on her Facebook profile, my ex erased all the pictures where we were together, add her new boyfriend to her friends and changed her status to "I'm so happy". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13985) - you deserved it (3568)
On 01/04/2009 at 4:43pm - love - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2592) - you deserved it (25240)
On 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm - misc - by - Sent from mobile version
Today, my best friend invited me to dinner at his house. When I went to the toilet, I found my wife's wedding ring in a cup, which she'd lost a week ago. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25502) - you deserved it (940)
On 12/28/2008 at 8:41pm - misc - by pop - Sent from mobile version
Monday 20 May 2013
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