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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

1Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9360
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>KitchKraft</b> - 18 hours ago<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - 19 hours ago<b>nfdfhm</b> - the 12/14/2014 at 12:48pm<b>ifunnyftw</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 1:06pm<b>Jak0p</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 6:25am<b>chalkthewalls</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 7:54pm<b>cats54321</b> - the 12/07/2014 at 1:58am<b>adamant84</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 5:31pm<b>the_beagle</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 2:37am<b>davisjenny81</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 5:20pm<b>Toughsky</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 11:53pm<b>jerryj</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:48pm<b>artpoooop4569</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 9:10am<b>mommy2cassidy</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 1:59am<b>brookiesawr</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 11:30am<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 4:21am<b>_angeldust_</b> - the 11/22/2014 at 10:22am<b>LordGrew</b> - the 11/21/2014 at 5:36pm

Liked!<b>jessiejamesp</b> - the 11/24/2014 at 10:21am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

#2867834
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43665) - you deserved it (9624)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm - misc - by anonymous1 - United States (California)

Today, In my science class I sit next to my friend Jill. My teacher always gets our names confused calling me Jill and her Liz. She decided to combine our names. I'm now known as Jizz. My teacher clearly has no idea what it means. FML

#2831839
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140435) - you deserved it (10025)

On 06/12/2009 at 2:50pm - misc - by mcullen21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78873) - you deserved it (22109)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was having a garage sale and my mother-in-law came by to see what I was selling. She decided to buy these ugly green wine glasses that were still unopened. It turns out that she gave those to my wife and I when we got married. FML

#2775360
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16061) - you deserved it (38896)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was alone in my friend's kitchen. I had "Don't Cha" stuck in my head all day so I decided to let it out by doing a slutty dance, including spinning around the support pole in the kitchen. I heard a noise outside and saw my friend's dad had been cleaning the windows. With a boner. FML

#2767851
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21504) - you deserved it (56393)

On 06/10/2009 at 9:51am - intimacy - by sluttydancer (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my fiancé and I were cuddling in bed talking about our future wedding coming up. He leaned over seductively to tell me he got a present for me to ‘use’ on our wedding day. It was a pack of breath mints. FML

#2491424
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41263) - you deserved it (10321)

On 06/01/2009 at 1:55am - love - by thanksbaby (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had a dentist appointment. While waiting, I pulled out my Cosmo magazine to entertain myself. The woman sitting across from me points and tells me I'm reading "Satan's Manual." I told her I don't believe in Satan. She said, "You'll know he's real when you become his bitch!" FML

#2442070
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50686) - you deserved it (7561)

On 05/30/2009 at 7:22pm - misc - by satanlovesme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my parents bought me a wine glass with "Who needs a man?" painted all over it. Cute, until after dinner my mom looked me in the eyes and asked with complete sincerity, "Kara, are you gay?" My parents tried to get me to come out. I'm straight. FML

#2140497
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48381) - you deserved it (3119)

On 05/21/2009 at 9:06am - misc - by pa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it's my birthday. After a day out partying, I came home to find all my stuff smashed in the yard, even my 42" plasma TV. After asking my girlfriend what her problem was, she said a "slut" left a message on the machine stating how fun last night was. It turned out to be my mom. FML

#1893907
353 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83884) - you deserved it (4609)

On 05/13/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by chaos2007 - United States (Texas)

Today, I ran into a girl I used to go to school with. We went out for dinner to catch up, and we ended up at my house, watching movies and cuddling. This fantastic and spontaneous date was concluded with several kisses. I dropped her off at her car and drove off. I forgot to get her number. FML

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

#1289647
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42743) - you deserved it (35397)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had an appraisal meeting with the Boss. She raved and gushed and told me what a great job I was doing. Then she said "Well done, Eric". Eric is not my name. She froze, opened a new file and told me my actual appraisal, which was the complete opposite of everything she had just said. FML

#1246375
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48397) - you deserved it (5778)

On 04/23/2009 at 1:22am - work - by raynbowsend (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I was going on a plane to Chicago. My passport picture is 6 years old, and back then I was a beautiful model. Now, I gave birth to a child and gained 50 lbs. When I showed my passport to the airport atendents, I got arrested for stealing someones passport. FML

Today, my ten year old son realized something. Beer is alcohol. People who drink a lot of alcohol are alcoholics. Therefore I am an alcoholic for drinking beer with dinner. He told everyone at his conservative private school and they tried to have an intervention. They pray for me every day. FML

#921168
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62813) - you deserved it (11585)

On 04/12/2009 at 12:44am - kids - by cxcrktkt (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was babysitting a five year old boy. Somehow the topic of relationships came up, he asked me if I had a boyfriend. When I told him that I was single, he got all excited and asked if he could be my boyfriend. It would have been cute except he was the first guy to ever ask me out. I'm 18. FML

#904176
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61569) - you deserved it (5690)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:07pm - kids - by boyfriendless (woman) - United States (California)



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