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bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8964
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: oceanchild116@yahoo.com ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>rkdstp1995</b> - one hour ago<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - yesterday at 10:37pm<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 12:05pm<b>Civilian</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 4:22am<b>HeatherFeatherB</b> - the 10/21/2014 at 11:50pm<b>fmlnousername</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 11:23pm<b>A_Rabid_Dear</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 4:25pm<b>sethypoo1</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 2:31am<b>s3kShUn47</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:17pm<b>ODST_Panda</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 3:59pm<b>Smeagol1861</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 9:16am<b>lotr4</b> - the 10/09/2014 at 11:14am<b>VampOfSavannah</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 5:18am<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/04/2014 at 12:36am<b>nonamebadger</b> - the 10/01/2014 at 3:40am<b>Noah197099</b> - the 09/30/2014 at 7:36am<b>Janawa</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 4:14pm<b>MMalmighty</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 7:31am

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63025) - you deserved it (16011)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

#4774663
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13419) - you deserved it (42633)

On 08/24/2009 at 12:49am - misc - by snakeboy (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

#4539683
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67868) - you deserved it (3846)

On 08/15/2009 at 12:32am - money - by Shadyblood (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63230) - you deserved it (5118)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

#4235904
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63230) - you deserved it (5118)

On 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm - health - by theregoesmyspermcount (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

#4069645
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51534) - you deserved it (3365)

On 07/27/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by scarred (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

#3951718
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (99031) - you deserved it (15470)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

#3947588
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44313) - you deserved it (26164)

On 07/22/2009 at 1:47am - misc - by emogurl (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

#3911129
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37436) - you deserved it (4206)

On 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54462) - you deserved it (5810)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

#3731184
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40659) - you deserved it (8087)

On 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm - animals - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

#3517987
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12466) - you deserved it (70708)

On 07/06/2009 at 12:03am - love - by Seabiscuit (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

#3237223
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52010) - you deserved it (10013)

On 06/26/2009 at 10:22am - love - by shouldhaveknown (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

#3040263
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41349) - you deserved it (2157)

On 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm - misc - by Kerry (woman) - United States (California)



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