bizarre_ftw

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bizarre_ftw

44Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 14 August 1994 (22 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16869
  • Number of comments : 2169
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 48 posted

About bizarre_ftw : I'm: unusual, nuts, crazy in the best of ways, a seasoned mistake maker, too curious for my own good, and outside the box to the point of being in a different reality

My skills include but are not limited to: glass blowing and molding, painting, acting, writing, a little bit of modeling, giving massages, running in heels, drawing, cherry stem tying with my highly skilled tongue, pool/billiards, swimming, talking, cooking, etc..

Skills I plan to have: skydiving, cage diving, contortionism, knife throwing, and so much more

I love sharks, I plan to be a marine biologist, I have an hourglass figure, a near perfect hip to waist ratio (bragging is good for the soul, or at least ego, I have no soul, I sold it for lunch last week ^_^)
- i'm tattooed, fear me

I love all intellectual and artistic pursuits, and meeting people

I'm either funny or I fail miserably (which in its own right is funny) i'm good either way.

Email: [email protected] ... Let's see what happens :)

bizarre_ftw's page activity

Visits<b>ozzytiff</b> - the 11/23/2016 at 1:37pm<b>ezzala</b> - the 11/16/2016 at 9:31pm<b>TigranPet</b> - the 11/10/2016 at 2:50pm<b>LadyGreenShoes</b> - the 11/03/2016 at 5:39am<b>joco4</b> - the 10/30/2016 at 3:28am<b>PsychoBoulevard</b> - the 10/28/2016 at 1:34am<b>lutessiarose</b> - the 10/27/2016 at 10:30am<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 8:43pm<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 8:07am<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 6:37am<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:43am<b>lost7702</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 2:13pm<b>TecoChaparro</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 6:57pm<b>mehibud</b> - the 09/13/2016 at 6:51pm<b>big_sam1991</b> - the 09/04/2016 at 9:22pm<b>kkowal</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 8:31pm<b>tweak2011</b> - the 08/29/2016 at 9:06am<b>Talis99</b> - the 08/27/2016 at 6:42am

Fucked!<b>b5b0n36</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 2:43am<b>cyb3rbyte</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 2:07pm<b>Pinkgal123</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 12:54pm<b>Rozay333</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 1:28pm<b>Joshwarrior</b> - the 06/20/2016 at 3:05pm<b>ThunderLightTSV</b> - the 06/16/2016 at 1:36pm<b>SiraSiemens</b> - the 06/15/2016 at 11:16am<b>skydye420</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 2:15pm<b>RabijaBegic56</b> - the 04/08/2016 at 1:37am<b>CaptMacLeod</b> - the 04/03/2016 at 10:26pm<b>Mcstud1y</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:48am<b>spn_fanboy14</b> - the 01/18/2016 at 9:19pm<b>FyeahPoet</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 8:46pm<b>Nahpets</b> - the 01/06/2016 at 11:00pm<b>fatman1970</b> - the 01/05/2016 at 9:37am<b>dno79</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 1:56pm<b>beeferjay</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 7:13pm<b>RedPillSucks</b> - the 12/24/2015 at 4:17pm

bizarre_ftw's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of bizarre_ftw's badges

bizarre_ftw's favorite FMLs

Today, for the first time in about 3 years, I decided to clean my car. It was going really well until I looked down at what I was about to pick up. On the back seat floor lay a dead snake, which at one point, for god knows how long, was living in my car while I unknowningly drove it. FML

by snakeboy / 08/24/2009 at 12:49am / Australia (South Australia) / Transportation

Today, my drunk uncle threw my brand new iPhone 3GS into my pool, ruining it completely. When I asked him to pay for the 600 dollar replacement cost, he said he wasn't responsible for his drunken actions. All of my family members are on his side. FML

by Shadyblood / 08/15/2009 at 12:32am / Puerto Rico / Money

Today, I decided to visit my girlfriend who lives 20 hours away. Four Red Bulls: $11.50. Gas: $200. Driving halfway across the country to find your girlfriend in bed with another guy? FML

by Tuck_My_Life / 08/03/2009 at 1:15am / United States (New Hampshire) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML

by theregoesmyspermcount / 08/02/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, I heard my parents having sex for the first time so I turned the TV up really loud to drown out the noise, and a minute or two later my mom comes downstairs in this skimpy nightgown to ask me why the TV was so loud and, seeing the horror on my face, kept asking what was wrong with me. FML

by scarred / 07/27/2009 at 12:42am / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML

by sadinseattle / 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, I returned from a month-long stay in a psych ward for severe depression and suicide attempts. The first words my friends say to me when I call them and let them know I'm out? "Does this mean you're not gonna be so emo? 'cause that was really annoying." FML

by emogurl / 07/22/2009 at 1:47am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to volunteer at a soup kitchen. I saw a man working, so I went up to him to ask where I should sign in. Before I even opened my mouth, he told me that they opened at 12 and to come back then for my meal. FML

by Anonymous / 07/20/2009 at 6:44pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

by bellaboop1990 / 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, I realized my new kitten is the spawn of the devil. It decided to go get itself stuck in a tree. I tried to climb up to rescue it. But it kept climbing higher. I was about to grab the cat when I fell. The cat then jumped down and started purring. FML

by WearingOff / 07/13/2009 at 11:03pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was snuggling in bed with my girlfriend. She was depressed, so I complimented her strong legs, saying they were "like a horse." I spent the next hour and a half trying to stop her crying. FML

by Seabiscuit / 07/06/2009 at 12:03am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I finally thought that my mother was okay with me being a lesbian. Then, over dinner, she turns to me and says "So, do you still think you like girls, or are you going to start being normal again?" FML

by shouldhaveknown / 06/26/2009 at 10:22am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, all my friends had a huge party and 'forgot' to invite me. They only remembered about me at 2 am when they called asking for rides home because they were all too drunk to drive. FML

by Kerry / 06/19/2009 at 7:55pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my sister and I got fitted for bridesmaid's dresses. It was pretty sheer material, so I took off my bright pink thong and left it on the changing room hanger. As I was looking at myself in the mirror, a woman came out of the room holding my thong. She had tried it on. FML

by anonymous1 / 06/13/2009 at 8:43pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous